Cruelty Free Brands I Love

October 10, 2018



Cruelty free makeup isn't as hard to find as you would think, but there are also still a huge amount of brands that do still test on animals to be able to sell in China. As I have mentioned in posts before I am always trying my hardest to shop for cruelty free, to find alternatives for brands that do test on animals and generally have a better life ethos. Through the time of trying to actively shop in a more cruelty free manner I have discovered a lot of brands that have surprised me in both areas of being cruelty free and testing on animals.

BRANDS THAT ARE CRUELTY FREE



ANASTASIA BEVERLY HILLS

My go to for pretty eyeshadow palettes. I am so glad that this brand remains cruelty free while a lot of other high end brands have been revealed to be testing on animals.


THE BALM

I love The Balm's products, their bronzer is everything and such a good replacement to the Benefit Hoola which was eventually revealed to be a brand that tests on animals. I also adore their Mary Louminiser highlight, which is such a good price for how much product you get!

MISSLYN

As far as I am aware MissLynn is a cruelty free brand! This is such a good brand that tends to sell affordable The Balm dupes, I adore their Holiday Hooray bronzer which I have hit pan on right now and I would be lying if I said that I didn't find this a little devastating. I picked this up in a drugstore in Holland for about €4 which is just insane really.

BURTS BEES

Something that always makes people laugh about me is how many goddamn chapsticks I have with me at all times (not to mention the vast amount that I have in my room). My go to brand will always be Burts Bees though! I adore their products and their pomegranate balm is everything, it's pink tinted and smells so so good that I can't get enough of it.

REAL TECHNIQUES

You guys already know that I love Real Techniques, their brushes will always be some of my go to ones and so the fact that they are cruelty free makes me so happy!

ZOEVA COSMETICS

Everyone knows Zoeva for their 'luxury' brushes but a lot of people also forget that they sell makeup too! This was the brand I got my first ever 'proper' eyeshadow palette from and I am still in love with their products all these years on. They're so affordable and such high quality.

NYX

This will forever be my go to cruelty free brand for dupes and beautiful products. Their lip butters are such pretty pigmented glosses that I literally cannot get enough of them (and this is coming from a girl who reaches for a matte lip like it's going out of style). I also adore their eyeshadows and highlights too!

LAURA GELLER

My favourite summer highlighter is from Laura Geller (the Ballerina one if any of you were wondering).

TOO FACED

Though expensive their products are so so beautiful and literally smell so good!! I didn't know it was possible for me to actually lust over the smell of an eyeshadow palette until I discovered this brand. Their lipsticks are also so lovely!

MAKEUP REVOLUTION

I may buy high end makeup every now and then but at the end of the day I'm a drugstore girl through and through. Makeup Revolution is a brand that I both love and trust, their products are immensely affordable and also such high quality that it actually amazes me. Not only this but they sell so so mnay dupes for high end brands that it literally amazes me, especially Urban Decay, Too Faced and Kat Von D. Plus it's like £5 for a highlighter that leaves people asking what I'm wearing after one swipe? Yes please!

WET N WILD

Is such a good brand but so so hard to get my hands on, regardless I adore their blushes, eyeshadows and lipliners which are all insane.


BRANDS THAT TEST ON ANIMALS


As much as I was initially going to make this a post just full of brands that are cruelty free I thought I would share with you guys a few brands that I am still wishing will get their shit together and become cruelty free again!

MAC

I adore their lipstick ranges, I love their foundation but none of it is cruelty free. Though I have a heap of products from them before discovering that they partook in animal testing I tend to not advertise or speak about them as much (or at all if I can help it)3 as I just don't want to endorse a brand that tests on animals! A great place to get dupes for a heap of their products is NYX.

BENEFIT

Again, another brand that I used to adore and would always get advent calendars from, yet with it not being cruelty free I have tried my hardest to avoid them. Yes, I miss the Hoola bronzer more than I would like to admit but there are other options out there that don't hurt animals in the process of purchasing. I don't think I own anything full sized from them anymore and am just slowly going through all of my products.

ELIZABETH ARDEN

I grew up stealing my mums Elizabeth Arden Eight Hour cream and then started buying my own but after discovering that they are still testing on animals I have stopped buying it and have encouraged my mum to do the same. If anyone has any dupes for this it would be so appreciated - send me a tweet or leave a comment with some suggestions!



Music Monthly: August/September

September 28, 2018




Yes, I know I have been MIA for a solid month now and that August's music monthly should have been out a good week and a bit ago. Initially I was just going to upload it later on this month however it kind of seemed more fitting to combine it with Septembers post as a way of getting me back into creating content after months of writing nothing.

If you're new to music monthly then hello! This is a compilation of all of the music that I have been loving over the past month or so which is split into two sections (new finds, a collection of music I found or that has been released over the past month and then oldies but goldies which is tunes I have revisited over the month that may have been mentioned before or are just older and more nostalgic to me). Without further ado, here is a very late music monthly.

(oh, and the playlist will be at the bottom as always)

NEW FINDS


Matt Wills released a very pretty track called All Cried Out and it was all I needed right when I needed. This is much more stripped back and acoustic like his older stuff which is something that I adored about him when I first came across him. 

My favourite band, With Confidence, came back with the most amazing sophomore album titled Love and Loathing which explores love and relationships in the modern era and I am so excited to hear it live next week. Moving Boxes, Icarus, and Bruise are my favourites from the album.

Troye Sivan has also released a new album and the combination of The Good Side and Postcard has had me sobbing on my bedroom floor. This album shows so much character development since the release of Blue Neighbourhood almost three years ago.

Another new album came from Deaf Havana and I fell in love with the entirety of it, Evil and Saviour are the stand out tracks for me though.

Nina Nesbitt's track Loyal To Me is packed with all the early 2000's Britney vibes that we still love and deserve in 2018. The music video is just filled with such cool vibes and the song is the anti-fuckboy anthem of the year (if I do say so myself).

This month we lost one of the most influential musicians in my life, although I didn't speak much about him Mac Miller's discography was impeccable and he would always have the words to make me feel less alone. He dropped a new album in August titled Swimming and while I hadn't got round to listening to it his death sparked the need to know what was going on in his mind before it happened. Perfecto and Self Care are my two favourites off the album.

Blackbear has also released a new single titled The 1 and despite me constantly saying how much I prefer his old stuff I have to admit that this track is pretty good. 

After a good years break from releasing music Lauren Aquilina is back with a new original song titled Psycho and it is so so good. It gives me all the Tessa Violet Crush vibes.

This past month I've dyed my hair black again and Bring Me The Horizon have released a new track titled MANTRA which comes from their upcoming album. I guess you could say emo season is well and truly underway for me.

Pale Waves have finally released their debut album, My Mind Makes Noises, and it is everything I expected it to be and more. After waiting since February for a studio version of She the album delivered that and more for me. I found myself sobbing to the closing track Karl (I Wonder What It's Like To Die) and seeing them live this month was amazing too. This band has so much potential and I cannot wait to see them blow up even more than they already have.

I have never been a massive LANY fan however their newest track I Don't Wanna Love You Anymore is bloody good and it hurts my heart realising how they have gone from ILYSB to this kind of track.

They're finally back having a place in Music Monthly!! BROCKHAMPTON have released their newest alum, iridescence, and I cannot emphasise how much I love it. As much as All American Trash will always be my favourite by them this is finding it's way to the top. TONYA and WEIGHT are easily my faves from the album. 


OLDIES BUT GOLDIES


Coffee Talk by Broadside never loses its charm for me and will always be a song that finds its way stuck in my head. It's so catchy and pop punk I just love it.

Recently I have been really trying to make myself understand the importance of living in the moment, understanding that nothing is going to be the same again. The message within When by Dodie emphasises just that for me, especially within the lyrics of 'I'll never be sixteen again'. Somehow that one lyric gets to me every single time.

I will always adore Conor Scott and his chilled out acoustic vibes within his music, the singer songwriter nerd in me thrives off of him. For the longest time Awake has been my favourite track within his unfortunately small discography.

The 1975 are still out here amazing me, however their debut album is the album that will always hold my heart. There's something just so fucking good about it, Robbers is still my favourite.

(Even More) TV Shows To Binge

August 12, 2018




I feel as though everyone has finished education for the summer and if you're anything like me then you will be looking for a heap of shows to binge over the course of the next few months. Since my last TV Shows to binge post did so well and I have watched a heap more shows that I have loved I thought I would compile a little list for you guys!

Most of these are on Dutch and English Netflix, however I'm not too sure about whether they will be available in your locations.


The Flash




Barry Allen (Grant Gusten) is basically the new love of my life after binging all of the episodes available within the space of a two weeks and then having to wait for the weekly uploads from Netflix after that. This is a DC show which surprised me when I fell in love with it because honestly I'm usually a little disappointed by DC films in comparison to Marvel, however their TV shows are something that they have got right. You'll find yourself following Barry Allen, the fastest man alive, as he gets to grips with his powers and builds himself a team of trustworthy and incredible friends to help him save his town, Central City. This is such a feel good yet dramatic show and I am so glad I caved into my friends yelling about it so much because I'm fully obsessed; and counting down the days until the next season after the cliffhanger we were left with at the end of season four.


Person Of Interest




I'm only two seasons in but this show is so good, I love me a good thriller and crime drama show and this is just everything. It follows two men as they attempt to stop crimes from happening based off of purely a social security number that they receive. There's abundances of shoot outs and fast paced scenes but there's also plot twists left right and centre that leave me shooketh in true Christine and Elijah style.


100% Hotter



Do any of your British people remember the BBC Three show Snog Marry Avoid with that robot called pod that was just the sassiest thing ever? This show is basically another version of that, people with hugely extreme looks are nominated by family and friends and given a makeover. This is just one of those feel good shows that is so easy to binge.


Brooklyn Nine Nine



The internet basically broke when this show was cancelled earlier this year and thanks to everyone kicking off it ended up getting picked up for another season. I was always one to occasionally watch the show when it was on E4 however after discovering it was on Netflix I decided to watch it chronologically and fell in love with it. This is based in a Brooklyn police department (incase you couldn't tell by the name of the show) and is one of the best comedy shows I have come across. While being a comedy it also deals with a lot of real world issues, such as sexuality and death in such delicate manners this is so so worth watching.


Champions



The ultimate feel good show, a fourteen year old boy moves to New York in dreams of pursuing his career in musical theatre. This is the point he has to move in with his father who until then he believed to be dead, it explores their complicated relationship and how he tries to fit in with his straight white cis father who runs a gym.


Supergirl




After The Flash my mind was changed when it came to DC shows and so I decided to give Supergirl a go, I wasn't sure what to expect but this was such a good show. The amount of representation and character development within the first two seasons (I've only watched that far so far) have been incredible and I love it. This is more than a show about Superman's cousin, despite the constant name dropping of him.


Atypical



Autism is something that a lot of people struggle to understand, I have met so many people on various ends of the spectrum and was kind of cautious when going into watching this show. I was scared that they would have got it wrong, they had perhaps portrayed the disability in a demoralising way that would add to the stigma around it but they did this show beautifully. It explores an eighteen year old boy as he prepares to take the next steps in his life, how he struggles with relationships and building connections with people and the toll it takes on him and his family. This coming of age show is beautiful and I adored every second of it.


The Good Place




So, what really happens when you die? I like the idea of this show, how they explore the afterlife in such a messed up but hilarious way was something that drew me in. The plot twists had me literally gasping out loud and the humour in it was brilliant.


Friends From College



I binged this show in the pace of an evening due to the fact that each episode is half an hour long and there's literally only eight episodes. A feel good show packed with comedy and drama that follows a group of friends from college (I know, shocking, it's not like the title says it) as they start their adult lives and start their own families.

Safe




Set in a gated community which had been built to keep the children that live in the area safe a boy dies and his girlfriend goes missing. The plot follows as people try to work out who murdered Chris and where Jenny has gone. I honestly don't think that I have been this invested in a show since deciding to binge the entirety of Broadchurch last November. Bloody hell this was good, it had you guessing right up until the final scene.


Evil Genius




True crime shows on serial killers are the best thing to watch before bed, right? Apparently I thought so when I started this series and was so hooked that I didn't sleep until 3am when I had finished it all. This show explores the story of 'America's most diabolic bank heist' and story of how a pizza man ended up involved in a bank robbery and bombing which I had honestly no clue about until I watched this.



Please Like Me




I have a weird obsession with Australia and this show is set in Australia so... that's reason enough for me to be obsessed with it, or at least I think so anyway. This took me two tries to really get into but once I did I was so invested in it that, again, it was binged within the space of a few days. Its a comedy show about the protagonist Josh as he comes to terms with his sexuality.


Alexa & Katie





Somehow I'm still mentally twelve and can't get enough of shows that are clearly aimed towards pre teens. This show gave me Hannah Montana and Good Luck Charlie vibes which is something that was super cool as I haven't watched either in about five years now. It promotes healthy friendships and also follows the pair of best friends as they navigate their way through their freshman year of high school.


Twin Peaks




This is such a bloody good show - it's scifi but not too scifi, it's not on the level that you're not going to see David Tennant flying round in a magical blue box but you are going to discover some weird ass shit regardless. Based in the small town of Twin Peaks the police department are investigating the murder of prom queen Laura Palmer, you discover what happened in the build up to her death and you don't find out her killer until well into halfway through season two.

I'll be honest, I gave up with season three of this because I couldn't deal with his different and modern it was compared to seasons one and two.


One Day At A Time




This comedy show is everything, it gives me Melissa and Joey kind of vibes and never fails to put me in a good mood. One of the most important things about this is the masses of representation that she show provides, while also discussing and educating the audience on masses of racial prejudice that go on day in day out. It teaches and reminds you of the importance of being proud of your heritage and appreciate the family that you have all while still being bloody hilarious.


The Standups




My complete guilty pleasure is stand up comedy, there are literally shows which I have watched so many times that I can recite them line for line and I still find them hilarious at the same time. This is why I was so so excited to find a series of stand up comedy on Netflix! It's two seasons of half hour sets from various comedians and I bloody loved it.


Greenhouse Academy




Does anyone remember the Nickelodeon show House of Anubis? This show kind of reminded me of that, considering it's based in a high school and the main plot is about this conspiracy that is taking place which, of course, involves the two main protagonists. It was one of those shows that was so cringey but I also couldn't stop watching (kind of like Riverdale oops) and I can for sure say it was intended for someone much younger than me however it was good and easy watching nonetheless.



Modern Family




Did someone say watching eight seasons of a TV show in two weeks? Because you know full well I did exactly that with Modern Family. I fell in love with this show and it's no wonder when the cast are all so hilarious and it's genuinely such a good show. I feel like with the masses of representation in it there's almost definitely a character that everyone can relate to in some way or another which is super cool. I even forced my mum to watch a few episodes of it with me and she couldn't stop laughing, it's got the mum approval, it's got my approval and now it's waiting on your approval.


Queer Eye



When the new season came out and the whole internet exploded I decided to jump on the bandwagon and loved this show! It's a group of five queer guys going round and giving people who need a makeover a boost in their look. They encourage them to face their fears and meet so many people from different walks of life, this is one of those utterly heartwarming shows and I adore it.

Music Monthly: July

July 30, 2018




This month has been all over the place in terms of music for me, a lot of my favourite artists have been releasing new stuff or re-releasing stuff I already loved which has been wild to say the least. I made a few playlists this month alongside my monthly one and so songs in this post will be coming from all of them.


NEW FINDS

The band that made me fall in love with being alive again came back after their year long hiatus, yes, I'm talking about Twenty Ă˜ne Piløts. I didn't know what to expect from their new music and I didn't realise how badly I needed it, and them, again. Without much warning they dropped their two track EP featuring tracks from their upcoming album Jumpsuit and Nico and the Niners are both so incredible. Tyler Joseph is an immensely talented man.

Jaden Smith released an electric stripped back EP featuring several tracks from his album SYRE. If you have been reading these posts for a while you will know that in November I couldn't get enough of that album and so the fact they have been revisited is everything to me! It's also no surprise that Ninety is my favourite on this EP.

At the end of June Drake dropped his album Scorpion. If you knew me in 2014 you would know that Nicki Minaj's Boss Ass Bitch performance was my favourite thing and so the fact that he remixed it and gave it a new take in That's How You Feel had me literally gasping.

Pale Waves have also been releasing more singles in the lead up to their album which is due to be released in August. The song Noises hit me awfully hard, I don't think I've fully related to a song and its lyrics in that way for a long while.

I never really got on the Charlie XCX hype but her song 5 In The Morning has been over played to say the least this month. It's like the modern version of No Scrubs.

Maisie Peter's single Worst Of You is wonderful, as expected from her.

Though I have followed Ella Grace Denton on social media for years I never listened to any of her music but the single Run is one of the most beautiful and calming songs. I have been listening to it on my cycles into the city and it has been leaving me feeling so inspired.

Zayn released his newest single Sour Diesel and it's a big fat vibe to be honest. The lyrics are fab, the music is wonderful and I am so excited for the rest of his new stuff because if it is anything like this then it is surely going to be insane.

I have been on an Emma Chamberlian binge session for most of the month, I literally can't stop watching her (please send me to rehab this is becoming a problem) and she does these little segments in her videos where she just blasts the music she's been loving. She seems to have the same kind of music taste as me which is great because it means I find a heap of tunes through her. This is how I came across the track Chinese New Year by SALES. I loved it and it instantly found a home in my playlist.

The 1975's new track Love It If We Made It has become my new go to summer track. This is getting blasted everywhere and anywhere and I think everyone's getting a bit sick of it but bloody hell this track is too good to not blast.

OLDIES BUT GOLDIES 

Remember that Gym Class Heroes song Cupids Chokehold/Breakfast in America? Yeah, that made it's way into my playlist and my host family and I have been dancing round the kitchen to it in the evenings.

Every now and then I remember how wonderful Matt Corby is and how important the song Runaway has been to me over the past few years. If I'm having a hard time or feeling remotely anxious this will be put on to stop me from completely breaking.

Taylor Swift is the most wonderful woman in the world in my eyes and every now and then I am reminded of how much of a lyrical genius she is. Clean, You Are In Love and Delicate are the songs that have been on repeat while I've been up at three am overthinking life this past month.

Someone on my Instagram stories asked me what my favourite The 1975 song is and it's like you guys don't even know me!! 102 will always be my favourite by Matty himself, however as I mentioned in my reply I adore Antichrist, Me, You, fallingforyou, and A Change Of Heart which I have been listening to lots lately in anticipation of the new album.

Elysium by Bears Den will always be one of my favourite music videos to exist and will forever inspire me to live and to create. I love their sound, it has always been one of the most calming things for me. As well as Elysium I have also been listening to A Year Ago Today and Think of England.

Remember in 2014 when The Fault in Our Stars was released and everyone used to cry over Tee Shirt by Birdy (or was that just me)? Yeah, I was reminded of that time period and rediscovered my love for how pure and wonderful that song is.

I'm back on my nothing,nowhere. bullshit and have been listening to I'm Sorry I'm Trying and Ruiner so much. There's something about their music that makes me feel so safe and sane, and in the stress of everything that is going on for me at the moment that is just what I need.

Here's both of the playlists that I have been building throughout the month:


What I Packed For My Year Abroad

July 11, 2018





When I applied to be an au pair I didn't really think about the fact I would have to be packing up all my belongings and moving them to another country. It was about two weeks before when the realisation of what I was going to begin to do sunk in and so I had to work out what to take, what to leave behind, and what I could ship over or bring over with me at a later date. Somehow through all the stress I managed to pack up a hand luggage case, backpack and a large case full of my life and flew off to Holland.

There are some things that I was literally so stupid about forgetting, some that looking back I really didn't need to pack at all and other things I am so so glad I packed. If you're considering a year abroad, or are just plain nosey, or (like me) have a guilty pleasure for anything packing and travel related then this is the post for you.

WHAT WAS PACKED?


9 x SWEATERS

I feel like one of the things that everyone I know is aware of when it comes to me is how much I live in sweaters, even in 30 degree weather you will find me searching for an excuse to put one on (god knows why). If anything, at least I was completely prepared for the freezing cold weather that my friend had pre-warned me Dutch winters brought with them. I had a few thinner and simpler ones and then some thicker chunky ones too. 

3 x PAIRS OF TRAINERS

My trusty white converse that just seem to go with everything, my pink and white pumas which are waterproof for the colder (and rainier or even snowier days) and my pink adidas campus shoes. All of which I live in as someone who adores flats and cycles practically everywhere while over here.

1 x PAIR OF CHELSEA BOOTS

Mainly to stop my nan bugging me about how I had 'no smart shoes packed' and how much it was stressing her out. I can't cycle for shit in them and they are a pain to walk in but they do make my outfits look that bit more put together so I am glad I brought them along for that part if anything.

3 x PAIRS OF JEANS

One pair of mon jeans, two black skinny jeans. Basically what I lived in for weeks because they were comfy and I couldn't be bothered to make too much effort.

1 x DENIM JACKET

Another staple item in my wardrobe that I literally cannot live without, I love my Levis jacket more than anything and how easy it is to style and how it can easily pull an outfit together and make things look so much nicer.

NUMEROUS T SHIRTS

I mean... you've gotta have something to pair with your jeans... right?

1 x LARGE TRAVEL MAKEUP BAG

Which held all my 'essential' makeup. (Basically highlighters, foundation, setting powder, setting spray, bronzer, my naked basics palette, modern renaissance palette, a zoeva palette and a whole heap of lipsticks.) I also had a smaller makeup bag for my makeup brushes because I own too many of those for my own good.

LAPTOP, PHONE, CAMERA AND JOURNAL

(and of course some earphones and all of the necessary charging accessories too).


STRAIGHTENERS, CURLERS AND A HAIRDRYER

I had recently come to the realisation that everyone ever looks so much more put together if they have their hair styled, I was always one to just get up in the morning and brush it and leave my hair be. However if I even just slightly tame my natural curls with my curler I look so much better, which is why these were a complete essential for me to pack.


1 x BACKPACK

I took my pink Vans backpack with my which is waterproof and perfect for everyday use, it fits my laptop in and at least enough clothes for overnight stays at friends. I also used this as part of my carry on luggage which was a godsend and seemed to work in Tardis like ways with everything it stored in it.


WHAT DID I FORGET?


You have my complete permission to call me an idiot after reading this, because honestly I felt like one.

Firstly, I managed to forget to pack any winter coats whatsoever despite having packed so many sweaters in preparation for the cold. I literally have three winter coats at my dads and two at my mums and managed to not pack a single one, I should probably give myself a pat on the back for my stupidity there really.

So within my first week of living in Holland I went out and got myself a thick winter coat from Zara which has become one of my favourite things I own to be honest. While it was an annoyance I did manage to justify spending too much money on something that would have been a stupid spend otherwise; plus it was in the sale so it was just kind of calling to me.

I also forgot a few little things like setting spray, a hairbrush (who in their right minds packs a heap of hair tools and not a hairbrush????? me apparently) and such but all of that was also purchased in my first week so we were all good from there.

Oh, and we can't forget the fact I literally only had one UK - EU power adaptor to use which was a goddamn nightmare really. I could either charge my laptop or dry my hair, and to start with before I got myself an EU phone charger it was literally like do I want to charge my phone or laptop today???? Who knows????? For sure make sure you have more than one adaptor, I thought I had packed more but it turned out my step mum gave me the American ones we had in the house and I didn't realise until I unpacked once I had landed. 

WHAT HAVE I GOT MYSELF SINCE MOVING?


Any excuse to go shopping is a good excuse to go shopping for me and after discovering my love Monki and Brandy Melville my shopping has got a little out of hand, or at least my bank account and the fact I am almost always practically broke seems to say this anyway.

Because I've been cycling so much I've lost a lot of weight, meaning I needed a few pairs of new jeans and I can honesty not recommend Monki ones enough. Their fit is perfect for me, and considering I'm 5 foot they are perfect in length too. I don't think I will ever shop at Topshop for my jeans again after this discovery.

I mentioned that I had to get myself a winter coat which happened to be bright red, and so for the spring/summer I had to maintain the brand that I had created for myself and spent hours researching the best place to get a cropped red denim jacket. Mine is from Pull & Bear and cost at least half the price of the TopShop one that I had been lusting over for weeks and would have dropped my money on had they ever had it in stock when I went in. I got it in a large for an oversized look which is something that I always go for in denim jackets though I feel these sizes do run up larger than they say and a medium would have worked just as well for my petite frame.

Numerous tops, because apparently I didn't have enough to begin with and now I'm just left wondering how the hell I'm ever going to get all of these clothes back to England with me in a two suitcases and a backpack.

I also purchased several more sweaters to add to my collection, like I mentioned Brandy Melville became my biggest weakness and with this came me buying too many sweaters I didn't need because they were just !!!! so !!!! pretty !!!!


Nineteen Years

June 30, 2018






Today I turn nineteen, for the past two years I have written a post on the year of my life explaining lessons I have learnt and things that shaped me. This year is no different, here is a post for the year I turn nineteen.


1) Distance means nothing when a person means so much, you can live in another country and still have some of the strongest friendships and relationships with people an ocean away from you. The key is communication, this is vital.
2) When you work out what you want to do with your life don’t let people tell you that it isn’t possible. Don’t even give them the time of day, just use their doubt to fuel your passion, to be able to turn around and say, ‘but look, I can and I am’.
3) Closure doesn’t happen over night, and nobody but you knows what will allow you to close the chapter in your life that has been haunting you. Sometimes closure takes longer than you would realise to happen, this is okay. You will use the lessons you have learnt from everything that happened to better yourself.
4) There is nothing like homemade food and a glass of wine after a long week. 
5) I am my own, I am my home and I am my own light. Everything I need to get me through this life I have within me, every ounce of courage I may need is here. I can move mountains if I want to, but I can also much more simply find peace within myself and stop searching for acceptance from everyone else.
6) Words are powerful, they can shape and heal or shatter and break. It is vital that we chose them wisely, as a writer and a person this is something I believe more than anything.
7) Fucking hell remember to drink water, you literally can’t function without it and your body, mindset and skin will thank you for it. Trust me. Also eat your fruit and veg, make sure you get your five a day. Your body will thank you for that too.
8) Stop comparing yourself to others, you are on your own path to success in your own life. Nobody is destined to achieve things at the same time just keep working hard on what you want to do and remember that you are going to succeed if you do this.
9) There is no shame in texting someone first, stop being so stubborn and reach out to your friends first. The same goes for business, there is literally no harm in emailing companies, bands and pr people asking for work and even if you get rejected this is still a way of getting your name out there. 
10) So much of your life has been spent living in the past, wondering what could have happened had things panned out differently. Beginning to accept that you can’t change your past but you can work on changing your future into something you want is so bloody important.
11) It’s important to take breaks and not overwork yourself, nobody will know if you went to bed at 11pm instead of staying up until 3am to finish work. Chances are you are more awake and vigilant if you sleep and work in the morning.
12) Exercise in the morning whether this is yoga going for a run or cycling, getting your body moving will wake you up and get the endorphins in your body going to have a productive day. 
13) Read, always read. Take a book on the train with you and sit and have down time instead of being glued to technology at all times, there are worlds beyond this one and all you have to do is turn a page.
14) Just because you have acne prone skin doesn’t mean you have to hide. I used to refuse to go out because of my acne reaching the point it had damaged my self esteem, I used to refuse to even go to work without wearing a full face because that way my spots would be covered. Let it breathe when it is bad, drink water, keep up your skin care routine (and if you don’t have one for the love of god at least moisturise and wash your face morning and night). 
15) Never go anywhere without a lighter and headphones, you would be surprised how handy these two things are when you have them at all times.
16) Cities are were I belong, exploring new places and taking photos is what I love more than anything. You can live your whole life in a city and never see the whole of it; explore regularly; get off trams at a stop different to your usual one and explore the place you have ended up. If all else fails Google maps will be on your side and get you back to your starting point.
17) Say yes to those plans you think you are far too busy for. Chances are you aren’t and having a busy schedule will leave you feeling much more motivated than if you are working all the time. You are never too busy for friends and family.
18) Following on from my last point, people die all the time and this past year I’ve lost far too many people. Cherish and appreciate the time you have with people because you never know when it is going to be over - even if that hurts to admit. Spend days with your grandparents, laugh as they tell you the same story you have heard a dozen times before. Make memories while you can, you won’t regret the time you spent with them but you sure as hell will find yourself regretting the times you didn’t spend with them.
19) You’ll be ok, you made it through all the shit before and this isn’t going to be any different. A year can change a lot, you will end up looking back on everything you are going through right now as a reminder that life moves on and things change.




Music Monthly: June

June 27, 2018





So, June is over and we are officially halfway through the year which is such a crazy concept to me. The past few months seem to have flown by, and speaking of flying all these new albums that have been flying into the world recently are a godsend. I love this time of year in the music industry, everyone releases tunes in the hopes of becoming the summer soundtracks (to the point that literally three of my favourite bands released albums on the same day and it's safe to say it was the best day of the month).

Sometimes I wonder if summer music is really any good or we are just all so delirious from the heat that we just think it is. This month has proven to me that summer music is wonderful and I'm confident I'm not delirious from the heat considering we seemed to have left that behind in May.

Anyway, here's what I have been listening to.


NEW FINDS


The first 'emo' band that I ever fell in love with, Mayday Parade, released their latest album Sunnyland and it's safe to say they will always hold a place in my heart. After the heavy style of their previous album it feels as though they have gone back to their roots and created a much more Lesson In Romantics style album again, this was so worth the three year wait and I cannot recommend it enough. My favourite tracks on the album are easily Sunnyland and Looks Red, Tastes Blue.

Another of my favourite bands and my introduction to the pop punk music scene I so dearly love, 5 Seconds of Summer, also released a new album titled Youngblood. To say that this is a masterpiece is an understatement in itself, this new sound for them is what they needed, it finally feels as though they've stopped trying to be what everyone expected of them and have found what they want to be. It's more mature and generally a brilliantly written and produced work of art. My favourite tracks from it are Ghost of You and Why Won't You Love Me.

Tessa Violet dropped her new track Crush and as well as it being an incredible track it also has one of the strangest yet coolest music videos I've seen in a long time! 

Imagine a music monthly post where I'm not screaming over the talent that Mahalia has, it's not going to happen but was probably nice for you to imagine. Her sass, talent and charisma are everything and I will forever be obsessed with her music - all of which tie into her latest track I Wish I Missed My Ex. If you ever need a bit of female empowerment give her a listen, she will be sure to work wonders.

Jorja Smith also went and dropped her debut album Lost & Found and just wow. That woman. Her Mind. She really went and did that. Every single time I listen to it I fall in love with it all over again, finding new love for each song. Her voice is enchanting, she is incredibly talented and I love this album. Goodbyes, Blue Lights, and February 3rd are my favourites at the moment, though ask me in five minutes and they will probably have changed all over again.

I forgot Discover Weekly existed as a feature on Spotify and so once I had rediscovered this little feature I found that Spotify had created a banging playlist for me. It featured a track called Grandfather Clock by Thea which has been on repeat for such a long time as I write this post. It's a wonderful mixture of lowfi/chill/rap.

The 1975 are finally back and as much as I want to say they're better than ever I'm going to be honest and say their new track Give Yourself A Try took a while to grow on me. I think this is mainly because it is so hugely different from what I expected, even though none of us were too sure what to expect from the Music For Cars era. It's strange but I can't deny that it's now become one of my early morning tunes that blast while getting ready for my day, I am beyond excited to see what the rest of the album sounds like after this.

Demi Lovato released one of the most heartbreaking and personal songs any artist has released recently. The heart-wrenching piano ballad Sober explores her messy relationship with alcohol and drugs, explaining how she feels the pressures to be a role model, a good daughter and a good sister. It admits she relapsed, it portrays her as human and fragile.

Me??? Finding an excuse to yell about As It Is??? Again??? Yes.
They released their second single The Stigma (Boys Don't Cry) in the lead up to the release of their third album, The Great Depression, which is due to be released this August. This band is one of the most important bands in the pop punk scene at the moment, the movement they are creating (and have always tried to explore since their beginning) is so vital. I can't believe it's taken people three albums to begin to pay attention to As It Is, they deserve every ounce of success and respect they earn in the industry.

Despite everything With Confidence will forever hold a massive place in my heart, I miss their gigs and screaming along to words that mean so much to me. Their new album comes out in August and they released the first single from it titled That Something this month, safe to say I wasn't expecting it at all and may have called my best friend and cried for half an hour.

OLDIES BUT GOLDIES


Rex Orange County covered You've Got A Friend In Me this month which was pure gold and got me so excited to see him live later this year with one of my best friends. Corldoury Dreams also made its place into the playlist because it's a complete and utter summer bop. 

Drake's song Teenage Fever which is basically the grown up version of Marvin's Room found its way into my playlist and has been such a banger this month.

Tonight Alive will always be a band that I associate with heartbreak for personal reasons, but they are also a band I associate with growth and development. They remind me how far I have come as a person in what is realistically such a short period of time. You Don't Owe Me Anything, Amelia and The Other Side had me crying far too much as cancer season began this month.

Is Ribs the best song Lorde has ever created? There is only one answer to this question and that answer is yes.






 

Au Pairing: What Is It & How I Got My Job

June 25, 2018



If you’ve clicked on this post you’re either curious about how to get into au pairing and my experiences with the job or you’re just plain nosey and have no clue what au pairing is. Had you mentioned it to me about a year ago I would have been the latter in the previous statement, I genuinely had no clue what au pairing was until all of my desperate searches into finding a way to move out of my family house had failed and the idea of au pairing for brought up in conversation.

Taking a gap year and being stuck in the same town that I had grown to see as such a mundane place was the worst thing imaginable for me. I wanted to travel, or at least just get out of there. Travelling, however, costs money and my little job wasn’t quite going to cover the expenses of seeing the world. I had two choices - the first being to live at home for about four months, find a new job and spend every waking hour working to be able to afford to travel later on in the year; the other being to find a way of working abroad to allow me to get out of my town and still be able to afford to live. 

This is why au pairing was so ideal for me, it allowed me to escape my hometown, see the world, and have a steady and reliable income. 

The basic idea behind au pairing is that you are a live in nanny (think Nanny McPhee but without the terribly behaved children) and are paid to look after children, you get free board with the family that you work for and all of your food is paid for. My friend put it best when he said it is basically like I get paid to be the kids older sister. It’s such a great way to be able live and work abroad and I didn’t realise quite how many people did it until I moved over and found au pair friends from all over the world. 

When I was applying for jobs I literally applied for the broadest range of countries including America, Australia, Italy and The Netherlands. However after falling in love with the Dutch culture and knowing that I had friends and a support system in Holland (which was also close enough for me to be able to afford to head home in school holidays when I’m not needed and if anything happened to family) I had my heart set on moving to Amsterdam. 

My daily routine is pretty simple and laid back, especially because the kids I look after are ten and twelve meaning they are rather self sufficient but just need someone there to give them a helping hand every now and then. A regular day of work is waking up and taking the youngest child to school, I will then come home and have the day to myself until 3pm when I need to pick him up. I take him to any clubs he has and prepare dinner twice a week and occasionally babysit.  

Before I wrote this post I posted on twitter to see if any of you guys had questions about au pairing, what it entails and how I got my job. I thought I would just do a little Q&A section in this post explaining it all in a more detailed manner, so here goes.

How many hours do you work a week and how much money do you earn?

You’ll find each country has different laws and regulations around pay and work hours for au pairs, for example in The Netherlands you can’t work more than 8 hours a day, have to have 2 days off a week and your family cannot pay you any more than €340 a month. Pay is also called ‘pocket money’ to avoid getting taxed on it which is strange but cool. I have friends who au pair in England and earn about £150 a week. I’m also currently looking at Australia to au pair in for the future where you earn about $200/250 a week so really it varies with where you’re working and the laws around it.

Are you able to fit au pairing in with your studies?

As I have mentioned in this post, I am on a gap year meaning that I’m not currently studying anything - though while au pairing my host family have given me the option to take evening classes in something if I am interested. This again depends on the family and the agreements you come to in your contract and interview period. I don’t think you would however be able to do a degree or something while working here, it is very much something you do while not in education.


How did you find your family you work for?

Honestly, I just googled how to be an au pair and the site aupairworld.com came up, I made a free account and picked where I wanted to be in the world. I gave some details about me and the lifestyle I live and then began to match with families, have conversations with them and went through a skype interview period. This took a few weeks for me to find the one family that I was most comfortable around and that I felt fit me.


Do you live with the people you work for?
Yes! I live in the attic and have my own personal space which is ideal, it give some time to escape once my role is over for the day. I love my room and the way it is decorated which makes it just feel homely and safe.

Are you Dorota?
My friend who is currently watching Gossip Girl keeps asking me this in an attempt to understand what au pairing is. I am not Dorota, I am Meg. Dorota is a maid and I’m a nanny.



Being Vegetarian: One Year On

June 20, 2018






It’s been about a year since I made the switch in my diet and became vegetarian. In this time I have learnt so much, and while when I initially set out on this journey I thought that it would be interesting to share it on here that eventually took a back seat. Mainly because I felt it didn’t fit with the content that I was creating, but also because I seem to give up on ever project I ever set out on. 

However, I have  recently come to the conclusion that this is my blog and I can and will share whatever I want on it. For this reason I thought I would share my journey with vegetarianism one year on and the ups and downs that have come along with living this lifestyle.

Without further ado, here goes my journey with vegetarianism.

To begin with the main reason that I wanted to become vegetarian was my health, red meat was making me ill and so without a doubt it was time to cut that out of my diet for my own benefit. There was no point sitting by a toilet vomiting for an hour after eating something when there were so many foods out there that would just leave me feeling full and healthy. I was also never one to be craving meat, while my family use it a lot in their cooking it was never something that I really wanted (plus raw meat fully grosses me out and I didn’t like preparing it at all).

This also probably had something to do with the fact that I worked at McDonalds for a year, watching food be prepared at such a vast quantity in a mad environment like that kind of put me off all in all. There was something so strange about it and I swore to myself that when I left I would cut down my meat consumption.

Another thing that pushed me to want to stop eating meat were the huge amount of documentaries and facts I have learnt from these films about the industry and treatment of animals. If you are wanting some suggestions of documentaries to watch then Cowsipricy is a great one to start with, alongside Rotten and Food Choices which are all on Netflix and are so insightful into the meat and dairy industry along with the food industry as a whole.

Since becoming vegetarian I have also becoming a lot more conscious about the different foods that I consume (eg I don’t use anywhere near as much milk as I used to in my daily routine). This is hugely because of what I have learnt through reading, watching these kinds of documentaries and generally making much more conscious and ethical decisions.

Having several vegan and veggie friends prior to my diet switch made it a lot easier, they were always there to give me tips on what is and isn’t suitable for the lifestyle and this was a godsend. I would text them and ask for vegetarian recipes and what they thought was the best substitute for something while in the middle of the shopping isle and they were nothing but helpful, this really did encourage me to continue with the lifestyle. 

Eating out as a vegetarian was strange to begin with, mainly because I was always the one to play it safe when eating out, always ordering a burger and fries because they can’t really mess that up can they? Then came me getting ill from consuming red meat and me making this switch, so burgers (or at least meat based ones) were off the table. 

You’ve probably seen the meme style tweets from vegetarians and vegans about eating out being something along the lines of fries for starter, main and dessert. For the most part that is what it was like to start with (though fries for desert is a no no when ice cream and cake exist, lets be real). Especially because when I ate out it tended to be with friends and more often than not it would be in a fast food environment. They would grab a box of 20 nuggets to share and I would just have fries and a diet coke.

Yet, you can and will very often find some of the best food in restaurants is veggie friendly. Whenever I go out for dinner with my parents they will always comment on how nice my food looks and how bright it is too (considering it usually consists of a lot of veggies and fresh ingredients). I love things such as veggie ramen, stir fries, curries and burgers and it is so encouraging to know that is is purely good things that have gone into it in differentiation to meat.

Over the past few months I have however realised how little I even eat ‘fast food’ anymore, probably because in Holland a McDonalds is literally only €3 cheaper than eating out in some restaurants and tastes like shit. This has really helped in encouraging me to cut that kind of processed food out of my diet and begin think more about consuming fresh foods instead. My skin and body have been thanking me so much for this change, though every now and then I do still find myself cycling to McDonalds for a McFlurry because they’re just too good to resist on hot days.

Though I will for sure be doing a full post on this once I’m back in England for good, here are some of my fave places to eat out as a veggie! Wamagama, they do such a good veggie cats curry; Nandos, sounds strange but their beanie burger is a winner in my books; Chipotle, their burritos are everything; and last but for sure not least Wetherspoons - or as my dad likes to call it, the death of the local pubs - has so many veggie and vegan options. 

Once I had gotten over eating out and working my way around the different menus life wasn’t so hard. I never was one to ‘crave’ meat and to be honest the only time that I may end up thinking meat is a good idea is when I’m off my face drunk and suddenly chicken nuggets while in McDonalds at the end of a night out seem like the cure of the state I have found myself in. Luckily I have friends that manage to convince me that I don’t need nuggets in my life.

I think one of the mot rewarding things about being vegetarian is how much it has influenced me, it has helped me gain confidence in myself and made me more aware of the foods and products I am purchasing. Since being veggie I have also been trying my hardest to purchase cruelty free products to become much more ethical and generally do my part for helping fight against animal cruelty, I am always looking for dupes and actively trying to avoid shopping in places that are known for their animal testing, though again I think this is something I will be doing another post on in the future.

Anyway, basically this is a post saying that being vegetarian is the best thing that I could have done for myself. My body is thanking me in so many ways, I have found myself having so much more energy and my skin has cleared up so much too.

Into The Grooves

June 15, 2018




Supporting local talent and smaller creators is something that I have always wanted to be able to do, you’ll more often than not find me shouting about local bands new releases and tours within my Music Monthly blog posts and on my Instagram stories. This is why I was so thrilled when the lovely Lucy McCourt who runs a wonderful music blog got in touch with me regarding the magazine, Into The Grooves, that she had been working on. Over the past few weeks we have stayed in touch until the other day when the final product of her hard work landed in my mailbox. 

So, what is Into The Grooves?


This is a magazine birthed from blogger Lucy McCourt’s realisation of the lack of journalistic and creative opportunities within the music industry, especially for those that are striving to create a career for themselves. With three years blogging experience behind her she set out to find a team of likeminded creatives who shared her vision for the publication and got to work on the first edition. 

The wonderful thing about this publication is just how inclusive it is, McCourt states that not a single person was turned down within the creative process and has therefore created something that prove just how powerful the young creatives in the music industry are. There is something so special about a magazine that is so inclusive in an industry that is so immensely exclusive at times.





















Upon first glance you are met with one of the most aesthetically pleasing covers I have seen in a long time. The colour scheme works wonderfully with the cover shoot and this is something that is maintained within the entirety of the magazine. The graphic designer Michael has gone above and beyond in achieving a seamless edit.

As someone who spent hours of their teenage life in the magazine isles of newsagents looking for the latest editions of Rock Sound and Kerrang but also reaching for youth culture style publications such as iD and Wonderland, it can be said that I have seen a fair few magazine covers in my time. This is a perfect combination of the two, or so I feel, you can tell this has been created by youths and for this it draws them in too - the colour scheme and cover art also add to the fact that indie music is a prime genre that this magazine focuses on.

The actual content of the magazine varies from interviews with various bands in the indie and punk scene to celebrating the talent within the other sides of the music industry. Creator of the month is a segment which explores and celebrates young creatives as they find their feet in the messy industry of the music world. Interviews from up and coming bands such as Sports Team and Bloxx are well put together and thoughtful.  This idea is so wonderful and sheds a light on what goes on behind the scenes as well as helping people become discovered and is something that I really liked about the zine.




If you’re interested in picking up a copy then you can pick one up here for £6 with a badge included (and if you’re anything like me then that badge will be going straight on your denim jacket)! 

As well as edition one the second edition is now fully in the works and alongside this the team are hosting a launch party in London. It promises to be bigger than the first edition, which was definitely a step in the right direction in creating a place for the younger creatives to share their work and talents. If you are interested in getting tickets to this then click here, it will be a night of live music and socialising which is right up my street.





Music Monthly: May

May 31, 2018




Can you believe May is already over? This year feels as though it is going by at the speed of light after what felt like a never ending January. As always, music monthly is here to put together a heap of new tunes that I have been listening to pretty much non stop all month, split into two sections of songs I found this month and ones that have been around for a while yet have made their way into my playlists we have a lot of music o get through (I feel like each of these posts is getting longer and longer). Anyway, grab yourself a drink and have a read to find yourself some new tunes and see what I have been loving this past month.

NEW FINDS

They only went and Hamil-dropped a new Hamildrop (wow that was a terrible pun please never let me make that ever again). This is a new take on my favourite song from the musical, Burn, which has been retitled as First Burn and oh my god this is everything. I am literally shook to my core over this song, the production is everything, the video they released for it is insane, the vocals are phenomenal and just wow.

Childish Gambino also known as Donald Glover also known as the love of my life has released his newest track This Is America and I cannot get enough of it. The video is so so clever, it has so many cultural references towards gun violence and the way that American society runs, SZA appears in it too and that has me shook to my very core. This is a track that I listen to in the mornings when I'm doing the school run to make myself feel a bit better about how early I am awake just to cycle for ten minutes!

I got to see my favourite band live this month and they released another new track that is an absolute banger, somehow State Champs will forever be able to completely amaze me with their music. Crystal Ball is such a banger and I loved hearing it live just as much as I love listening to it through my earphones. They are such lovely guys too which is probably another reason that I love them as much as I do.

When I watched Like Crazy the other day I fell in love with the soundtrack, especially the song at the end which is titled Dead Hearts by Stars. Though this one is nowhere to be found on Spotify their track All Your Ex Lovers Are Dead has found a nice spot in my May playlist, it's so chill and I'm literally listening to it as I type this.

Nina Nesbitt released her track The Sun Will Come Up, The Seasons Will Change which was featured on the CW show Life Sentence and it is so beautiful, it is just a constant reminder to live for now and how everything really is temporary. It kind of reminds me of Ed Sheeran's Castle On The Hill but in my perspective this is a better narrative.

I love Julien Baker and her music is laced throughout my playlists, YouTube recommend came up with her song Appointments for me and it is just as haunting and wonderful as everything else that she has created. There is almost a sense of home within her lyrics, they are like a warm hug but also a stab in the chest that make me cry. I don't think I did the best job explaining that but hey you get what I mean (or at least I hope you do anyway).

Whenever I'm working I will put on a lofi/hip hip playlist on from YouTube (here's my favourite) and ever since I have fallen completely in love with that genre of music. For this reason when Joji released Yeah Right it's just been a constant mood, I feel like if my life had a soundtrack this would be the song that played as I fell in love with fuckboy after fuckboy. I've also been loving I Don't Wanna Waste My Time.

My friend introduced me to Aminé's music and ever since Caroline has been stuck in my head non stop because it's a bloody bop.




OLDIES BUT GOLDIES

Coldplay's track Strawberry Swing has been on repeat this month, I only came across it again when I was looking for Troye's song Strawberries & Cigarettes but just fell in love with it all over again. This band will always be such a source of nostalgic happiness for me and this song is the perfect song for the summery months of the year,

When I think of chill music I think of Mahalia who has been one of my favourite artists for the longest time, her songs Borrowers and No Reply made it onto my playlist this month. Alongside that her cover of the Arctic Monkeys song Mardy Bum also made its way into my playlist.

Speaking of the Arctic Monkeys and despite the disappointment of the new album I have been listening to more of their old stuff again. The View From The Afternoon and Love Is A Lazerquest have been two faves this past month, there's something so fun about listening to old music that reminds me of my childhood in the summer months and this band will always be one of the ones that do that for me.

Blackbear was an artist that filled my playlists this time last year and yet for some reason or another I kind of stopped listening to him. This month I remembered his song hell is where i dreamt of you and woke up alone and fell back in love with his music. While I'm for sure nowhere near as obsessed as I once was there is no denying the man has talent.

On this blog we love and respect Kevin Abstract, my friend put Yellow and Empty into a playlist they made for me and I remembered just how good those tracks are. The music is insane, the lyrics are wonderful. Abstract deserves so much more respect and appreciation.

At this point I don't think music monthly is complete without me sharing what BROCKHAMPTON song that I have been loving this past month. SUMMER has been blasting for the obvious reasons of how much better the weather has been getting lately while TOKYO has also been one of my favourites. (Also ENICO purely because my friend Em and I have a tendency to yell 'what the fuck is a Scotland' at each other).

The Japanese House's lyrics will never fail to amaze me, they are so captivatingly haunting and beautiful. Whenever I find myself struggling with my writing I will sit and listen to them and wait for their words to bring me the inspiration that I so desperately need. This month I adored Still.



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