Music Monthly: August
August 25, 2017
If you know anything about me it will probably be that I love music and poetry, I wanted to use this love to create a series of my new favourite music each month. This is going to be instead of having a monthly favourites post, its just going to be a monthly update of music that I have discovered, notable new releases and everything in-between. Without further ado, here is August.
Neck Deep released their new album The Peace and The Panic and it's everything my little mo heart has ever wanted from them. I love supporting British bands and watching them rise, there is something that UK Pop Punk bands seem to have that US ones don’t and Neck Deep are such an example of this. Their lyrics in this album are so real and hard hitting. If you're debating listening to it then please please do.
Faves from the album are: In Bloom, Wish You Were Here, and 19 Seventy Sumthin’
Next up we have a queer duo called PWR BTTN who are absolutely fab, I found them through a YouTube series called Tiny Desk Concerts which is a super chill set up where musicians perform to an office full of people and I tend to find a heap of music on there. This band is incredible, they have so much energy and angst in their music, I have defiantly found my new band.
Faves from them are: C U Around and Answer My Text
My friend Emily has shouted at me about Declan McKenna for months on end and I finally gave in and started listening to him this month. Damn that boy has a heap of talent, and knowing he grew up in the same county as me gives me a heap of pride to see him doing so well. He has massive things ahead of him.
Faves from him are: Paracetamol, Listen to Your Friends and The Kids Don't Wanna Come Home
I’m not sure I even need to mention this one, everyone knows how much I adore dodie and so with her new EP release every car journey with me in charge of the aux chord has me blasting In The Middle and annoying my friends as I sing along obnoxiously. Can you believe my favourite song by her is about a threesome?? She really did that.
Other faves from the EP are: 6/10 and Secret For The Mad
With Confidence, my favourite Australian new-wave-pop-punk band, have also released two B Sides from the album that they released last year. Both are phenomenal, both are so different to everything else that is on the album. I cannot wait to see these guys live three more times this year as they always put on some of the best gigs I’ve attended!
Fave from the EP: Here for Nothing
Getting Into Uni With Two A Levels
August 18, 2017
Yesterday was A Level results day, meaning I found out whether I was getting into university or not (and thankfully I did). I thought I would write a little post about my experience with A Levels and how I managed to get into uni with only two courses, instead of the traditional three.
First of all, I want to mention the courses I took and how I found them, the first course that I had my heart set on taking as art. Having achieved an A at GCSE I was able to take this as an option and thought that I would be able to achieve a reasonable grade, however this was the hardest and most mentally draining course that I had ever taken for my A Levels. I also took Photography, my school ran the BTEC instead of A Level as they saw it to be more suitable for the students needs while also being a valid course to get into uni. The final A Level that I took was English Lang Lit, which filled me with both dread and joy every lesson. AS wise, I took Media and dropped it. Now you have a basic understanding of what I took I can get on with this post!
I started year thirteen taking three courses, worked my ass off and began to feel so lost and empty. There were weeks on end when I would not be able to even get out of bed to make my way into school; the person I was seeing at the time would literally have to pick me up and drive me to school to ensure I arrived (and when he didn't I would just spend the day in bed). I think, all in all, I went to three months worth of classes out of the whole academic year. I would go to school and have no energy to even get off the common room sofas and therefore end up passing out on them sleeping for hours on end (which obviously lead me to miss even more classes). It was basically terrible, I was in such a bad mental state that I decided I needed to do something about it, after speaking to my GP we came to the realisation that it was school and the pressure of A Levels that was dragging me down so immensely.
That evening I had a meeting with my parents, art teacher/form tutor and head of year; I had come to the conclusion that dropping art was what was best for me both mentally and in order to get the grades I needed to get into university. (I feel as though at this point I should point out that I was lucky enough to have an offer from my first choice that was a C and a Merit and considering I was working at a Distinction in photography I knew I needed to just be able to focus on English.) Yet, this meeting didn't go to plan, I was told that I needed to continue to study art and that dropping the A Level was something that I would seem almost insane to do - and heres the thing, I was going insane because of art and I knew this - and therefore I needed to continue my lessons.
My teacher for the subject however, was the kindest most wonderful man and had taught me for the past five years. He knew something wasn't right and took me aside most lessons asking how I was doing, once I had opened up to him about being put onto anti-depressants due to the mental toll that the education system was taking on me he began to allow me to create what I wanted, guided me to make the course project mine and give it to me as a personal escape rather than a personal hell. I am so thankful to him, to the support he gave me and for not giving up on me even when I was giving up on myself and my art on the daily basis. Yet, I eventually realised that art really wasn't working out for me and ended up just not turning up to classes, and the same went for the exam. I spent all three days that I was supposed to be doing the exam in bed, feeling like a complete failure but also working so hard to convince myself that it was for the best, that I knew what was best for myself more than anyone else.
So, that's how I ended up with taking a single A Level and a BTEC. Over the coming months to exams I worked my ass off, taking so many photos, writing so many practice essays and generally becoming more involved in classes. Photography was the only class that I didn’t seem to miss many lessons of, any others were more of a miracle of I turned up than anything else. All in all, I think I went to about 8 of my Friday morning English classes, and that is the class I got the highest in.
The thing you need to remember, is that although I went through phases of being completely unable to even pick up my phone and ask for the school work I still had friends and support who were gathering my work for me, who gave me their notes and helped me catch up with everything I had been missing out on. I had phases of complete determination, but also phases where I couldn't even get out of bed and I am so thankful the phases of determination paid off. I would email my teachers and ask for extra essays, spend hours on end writing them and completely threw myself into my photography projects. The work that I put in paid off in the end, forcing myself out of bed and coming into school looking basically homeless paid off.
My photography course was based on three units each year, I ended year 12 with a distinction which I was lucky enough to know would support my grades in year 13. However my English course was a linear one (meaning that I didn't take an AS in it and relied entirely on my A Level grade for this) and therefore I was clueless as to where I stood with it. Due to not coming into class a lot of the time I never really showed my teachers whether I was actually progressing and they were obviously concerned about me and my ability to pass the exam because if this.
When it came to study leave I had already completed photography, I just had English to study for and decided to work as hard as possible to get my life on track. I knew that if I didn't get this grade I wouldn't be going to uni, and I wasn't about to allow my mental health deterioration to affect the things that I wanted to achieve. Everyday I would either read one of the set books, do practice questions and mind maps or have revision days with my friends. I ensured that if I was only going to be taking this one A Level (two sat exams) I was going to do it well.
And the work paid off, I got my results yesterday and felt an overwhelming sense of joy sweep over me as I read that I had achieved my English A Level and got a B. With my distinction in photography and my B in English I knew I had got into uni, I knew that everything I had gone through, all of the arguments where I had to convince staff members at the school and my parents that I was doing what was best for me by dropping my third A Level had been worth it. I have been to hell and back in this past year, I have had one of the biggest whirlwinds of life in the past few months and this just proved to me that silver linings exist.
I want to say a massive thank you to all my friends and family for supporting me, for giving me a kick up the ass when I needed it but also for supporting me and giving me the love I needed when things stopped going to plan. This next year is going to be a gap year for me, I am going to be writing a lot, I am looking into writing and publishing a book, I am also going to be travelling and working. It’s non stop for me, and it can only go up from here.
Here’s to me attending Ravensbourne in 2018.
Van Gogh's Romanticised Yellow Paint
August 12, 2017
Van Gogh is easily my favourite artist, anyone who knows me is aware of this; his composition, use of colour and the energy within his work is unlike anything I have really come across in my five years of studying art (and lets be real, I’ve seen a lot of art by a lot of artists). It seems the same can be said about a lot of people, but his popularity is often problematic and leads to his mental illnesses being romanticised or used for social media accounts ‘aesthetics’. I wanted to take the time to talk about why this is so problematic, why this is something that in the end has a completely negative effect on his reputation. I’m going to write quite a bit about why the hell this bothers me so much, so be prepared for a long blog post today
Yes, Vincent was a ‘tormented’ artist, he spent much of his life in and out of asylums and ended up shooting himself to end the pain of his life. Of course there is the theory that it was two boys who were playing with a gun in a field who shot him, but for the case of this post I am going to state that I have a much larger belief in the fact that he shot himself. It is said that when a doctor attempted to save his life Van Gogh replied ‘but then I would have to do it again’ this line in itself always hurts me to think about, and of course while there is no full proof of him having said this it also works to have a basis and understanding of Van Gogh and his suicide before I go into the rest of the post.
The biggest issue I have with Van Gogh and his romanticised mental illness is the idea that he ‘ate yellow paint in an attempt to make himself happy’. God this is such a problematic romanticisation that has lead to people saying things like ‘don't make people your yellow paint’, people comparing drug addictions to Vincent eating the paint and so many more things that you will come across on social media at some point or another.
First of all, romanticising a mental illness and using it for something like your accounts aesthetic is something that will always be absolutely ridiculous in my eyes. Why do people do it? Even if Vincent had eaten yellow paint to increase his mood then why would you even publicise that, whats so romantic about the fact that he ate paint? Is it because it was yellow, and of course ‘yellow is a happy colour’? Is it because you don't seem to understand the real extent at which his illness effected him? What happened to society to begin to make this a romanticised idea?
We also need to talk about the fact that he never actually ate yellow paint (source for this info: https://www.vangoghmuseum.nl/en/125-questions/questions-and-answers/question-63-of-125) and even if he did it was not for his happiness. It is in the medical notes from his doctor that we discover that he would attempt to poison himself by eating paint and drinking turpentine (for those of you who are unfamiliar with turpentine it is a foul smelling chemical which is used when working with oil paints). This was also followed by/alongside the fact that he would pick up filthy things and attempt to eat them throughout his episodes, which lead to him being stopped from creating/painting during this timeframe. So, you see, there is already more depth to the idea that Van Gogh would eat his yellow paint to try to make himself happy than the people that romanticise the idea realise.
I think that is all for this post, I have a lot more to say but it feels right to end it here. Thank you for reading my ramblings about Vincent. Until next time,
Meg x
PS. If you're interested in learning more about Vincent, then have a look at sites such as Artsy, The Van Gogh Museum and Van Gogh's Letters which both talk about his life and struggles in a much wider depth than I am able to.
Brighton in Photos
August 10, 2017
Me being the ever-so-nosey human that I am I love looking through peoples snaps of places they've been and people that they have been there with. I am going to start doing a series when I visit places, much like my pride post where I share images from the day and begin to create little visual blog posts as well as still writing my usual in depth ones too.
July Favourites
August 01, 2017
It’s been so long since I last did one of these posts, but since being more active online recently I’ve realised that I really miss creating posts talking about things that I have been enjoying. They are defiantly the kind of posts that I love reading, so I thought that considering it is the end of the month I would take the opportunity to resurrect the old fashioned favourites posts on here.
I’m going to talk about one thing for each theme and I think there are five themes all in all so, this will just be a small post but also a very overdue one.
Beauty: After struggling with my skin being one of the most problematic things in my life I have recently discovered the Garnier 3-1 Charcoal Anti Blackhead. This can be used in three ways (hence the name) and has honestly been a godsend recently. I tend to put it on as a face-mask about twice a week and rub it into my skin, leave it to dry and then wash it off which I have found calms any breakouts I am experiencing while also improving the general look of my skin. This teamed with drinking god-knows-how much water everyday has been a dream team.
Stationary: This is going to be a bit of a weird one, but most people are fully aware that I am wholeheartedly in love with any cute stationary. I hoard it to the millions and the most recent addition to my collection is the ‘It’s gonna be okay’ journal, which I picked up in the mini form to always have at hand when I need it. This journal is great because it allows you to focus on what is going good, even if it is only the smallest glimmer of hope.
Books: I’ve had a lot of spare time recently, and spent a lot of time on trains, which lead me to realise that I could put my love of books to good use. Everywhere I go now I tend to keep a book in my bag, the one that I have loved the most this past however was a poetry book (and if you know anything about me, it’s my love for poetry). Eighteen Years by Madisen Kuhn is the one book that I can go back to time and time again and discover new meanings to her words. It is such a beautiful book and I cherish my copy, I hugely recommend that you go grab yourself one.
TV: Despite not actually owning a TV I have been binge watching a lot of shows on Netflix as a form of procrastination from all of my impending responsibilities. The show that I got through the quickest and enjoyed the most was definitely Love Sick, it was such a good show and to know it’s a British show makes it even better to me. If you like comedy, romance and just a general feel good show you can easily binge then this is for you.
Yet, despite not having a TV don’t think that made me miss out on Love Island! I was able to stream it online with a super cool site called TV Player, which has a whole variation of channels available to you at the click of a mouse. They stream a total of 98 channels so there is bound to be something for you on there at all times, as well as being able to watch on your PC/Laptop you can also watch on mobiles and tablets which makes TV even more accessible to you on the go! If you’re interested in seeing what the site is like they have kindly given me a promo code of ‘megan’ which you can enter at http://www.tvplayer.com/signup for 2 months free.
Music: Lana Del Rey has successfully regained my lust for life with her new album Lust for Life. This woman voice is purely enchanting and I cannot explain the love I have for this album. It is truly incredible, my favourite on the album being Coachella - Woodstock In My Mind.
And that is everything for this weeks post, as I have a year off education now my posts are going to come all the more regular again. I hope you enjoyed it, see you round. xo
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