The Art Of Getting By

It seems as though 2018 is the year that everyone has decided to focus on themselves and self love, meaning they are dropping any forms of negativity that the past year may have held for them and beginning to thrive as independent as wonderful individuals. While watching one of my favourite films, The Art Of Getting By,  I was struck with the idea of sharing some more of my self care tips with you all (because there is nothing I seem to love more than oversharing about my life on the internet in the form of self care tips).

These are just a few things that I have realised over the past few years have really helped me to look after myself and in general put myself first when I would perhaps have put aside my needs for those of someone else.

1. Remove any negativity that you can from your life. 

This could be in the form of people, places or a series of thoughts that have embedded themselves in your mind, and of course this is so much easier said than done (I understand that) but it is such a vital step to being able to put yourself first. It doesn't mean that you are a bad person if you cut someone off because you can't deal with their constant self loathing that is inevitably rubbing itself off onto you, it means you are putting yourself first. Leave behind those that make you feel as though you are a burden or a strain on their time, if someone wants to make the effort to have you in their life they will do so in a way that doesn't make you seem as though you are forcing them. Trust me on this one.

When it comes to thoughts, this one is a lot trickier than people as they are often something that will come and go. It is important to remember that your thoughts are only thoughts, you are the one who decides what action to take based off of them. If you have the idea that you are failing at everything in your mind then work out what you are able to do to improve yourself, use these negative thoughts and turn them into something more positive. Obviously though, if these negative thoughts are eating you whole then it is so important to speak out about them, go and speak to your GP and get some advice on what to do if you feel you need to seek that kind of help.

2) Find what makes you happy and don't let anyone take it away from you.

For a lot of people their creative outlet is one of their forms of happiness, whether this is writing, music, film, editing, and anything else possible. This year has already been the year of me declaring that I am going to master my crafts, these being blogging, writing and photography, and I have noticed so many other people declaring the same kinds of things. If what you want to do is going to make you happy and give you a feeling of satisfaction then go ahead and do it, as long as you aren't hurting yourself or anyone in the process of course. 

3) Be a selfish bitch.

You need to learn to put yourself first. At the end of the day you are going to be the one person that you are going to spend the rest of your life with, people come and go and so do feelings but you are a constant. If you are able to put yourself first then you will honestly begin to feel so empowered and unstoppable, something that is so vital in a world full of people who seem to be so determined to drag people down in any of their forms of success.

Learning not to feel bad when you call a raincheck on your plans with someone because you would be much more comfortable staying in and watching a film with your cats is so important. It is vital to know when you are running low on energy and begin to look after yourself and alter any plans that are able to be altered, if you stop before you burn out your recovery time is a lot shorter than had you just pushed through everything.

Spend an hour in the bath with a Lush bath bomb and a facemask on, blast your favourite music and dance around your kitchen with a cup of coffee in hand, eat that last piece of chocolate. Live your life for yourself and nobody else.



4) Take occasional social media detoxes/breaks.

Trying to find the line between knowing I need to use social media to promote my work and my developing brand (because that's what blog are really, aren't they?) and also living in the real world can be difficult and so if I find myself slipping too far into the digital world this is how I pull myself out of the trap.

As wonderful as the online world can be its is still so important to know when you have crossed the line and are spending more of your life immersed in a virtual world rather than being an active participant in your real life. With changing algorithms and the stress that is put on smaller creators (be that YouTubers, Bloggers or Instagrammers) it is getting harder and harder to share your craft to a new audience if you aren't getting thousands of likes which is something that is affecting the way a lot of people use and see social media. This can be inevitably toxic and is something I actually want to write a full post on, however briefly touching upon it now helps with this point too. Remember that people only share the best parts of their lives with their following and even when they decide to share their struggles it usually isn't to the full extent of which they are occurring.

Every few months I try to refrain myself from using social media too much, I will delete the apps from my phone and spend the time looking after myself. This is something I do in a lot of ways but I often find myself in bookstores picking out a new book to spend the week hiding away in various cafes reading.




I really do hope that this post was helpful to you in some way or another and for the next week I am challenging you to put one of these tips in place (or something else that you feel will benefit you and your growth this year) and also to let me know how it goes. No matter how big or small, any steps you take in the direction of your self growth and development are so important so take care of yourself and remember that life has funny ways of working itself out when you least expect it.