Going from having someone that you can
turn to and talk about everything with to having them sliced from your life is
something that never gets easier, no matter how many times it happens to you.
Giving someone your all and having them tell you that you weren't enough, or
that you were too much, can leave you broken in more ways than one. I’m still
healing my heart but with this said I thought it would benefit at least one
person to write about how I have worked on myself over the past few months and
in turn healed.
The first and most important thing is
muting them on social media, or even deleting them if you want to do that. Hide
them from your life, you don’t need to see the things they are doing anymore.
You don't need to see how much their life is still working without you while
you're left broken. Remind yourself that people only share the best parts of
their life on social media, they may be just as hurt as you but it is unlikely
that they would share it online. With having them muted you don't have to see
them and you are able to take steps into bettering yourself without being
concerned about how they are doing.
Having a support system of people that
you can turn to is so important, you are going to feel so lonely without the
person that you loved but remind yourself that there are so so many people who
still love and care for you, even if that one person doesn't anymore. Reach out
to friends and make plans with them, have movie nights, go out for ice cream,
make plans and keep yourself busy. Also remember that there is nothing quite
like the love of your mother, their hugs are powerful.
Listen to music, the great thing about
music is there is something for every single emotion; Lucy Moon described this
best in her albums to get you through your heartbreak video. If you want to sit
and feel sorry for yourself then put on some Keaton Henson or Bon Iver and sob
your heart out. If you want to be angry at someone then put on some Halsey,
Kanye or Blackbear (also Lemonade by Beyonce is a killer album to get
you through all the emotions of heartbreak). An honourable mention goes to
Taylor Swift who's catalogue of music stretches from angry heartbreak to
sitting on your floor wearing their clothes trying to be something they miss,
this woman has it all.
Social events can be great too, but
try to make sure that the person or those that you strongly associate with them
won’t be there. I’ve been to parties where my exes best friend has turned up
and all I’ve wanted to do is sit in a corner crying because it reminded me of
him too much, which as pathetic as it sounds when the heartbreak is raw it can
hurt so much. Get your friends together and go out somewhere, go to gigs,
surround yourself with people that love the same shit as you. I cannot stress
how much going to gigs has helped me grow as a person and get through my
heartaches, they make you forget everything even if it is just for a couple of
hours.
Avoid places that you know they are
going to be, if you take anything from this then please let it be this tip. Don’t
go into their workplace and make things awkward for the both of you, I don't
care if they sell the best toffee lattes at a reasonable price go and find
somewhere else to get your caffeine fix. Maybe even make an agreement where the
two of you will completely avoid each others places of work, at least just for
the time frame of you getting over this.
Start a project, do something that
will keep your mind off the shit thats going on, or use the shit in your mind
to create things. Whatever helps keep you busy and stops you reaching for your
phone at three am when you feel lonely. For me this was my lovers dictionary
series, it helped me to conclude that part of my life as it wasn't properly
concluded for me and once I had finished the project I forced myself to shut
that part of my life out.
Remember that your emotions are valid
and important, don't feel bad for having days where you miss them. Of course
this is going to happen, just remember to talk about your emotions and try your
hardest not to bottle them up. Write them down, call a friend, cry to your mum,
do whatever helps you heal.
Give yourself time, time really does
heal all. It just sometimes takes a hell of a lot longer than you would like
for the healing to begin, which is where the other aspects of this post come
into play. Remember that everyone breaks differently, so everyone heals
differently. There might be ten people that are heartbroken in the same room
but they won’t have experienced the same heartbreak as you. That doesn't make
yours any less valid but it means that you shouldn't compare how they are
coping to how you are coping.
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