A:lways

Abstract: your definition of love was a strange one, almost as abstract as a picasso.

Abyss: there are times when i realise how much you’ve taken from me, how much of an abyss you've left in my heart and the dark hole that has been left behind. i’ve wasted so much time on you, so much energy.

Advent: every day i would send you a photo of my chocolate as you were too lazy to buy yourself a calendar, its strange how rituals begin but once it started i couldn't miss a day. at least i had an excuse to talk to you then. sometimes i wish it was still advent so i could have a reason to talk to you everyday.

Album: you never liked that blink-182 album you had in your car and yet i always made you listen to it on repeat. to begin with i would be the only one singing along but a month down the line you were too. as you got tired of listening to it you changed and so did the way you acted around me.

Alcohol: i started drinking more as you started caring less, you always hated me being drunk. but aren't you a bit of a hypocrite considering thats how we had our first kiss, and our last.

Alone: the way you left me said more about you than it did me. the way i dealt with being alone said more about how used to it i already was than the way i felt about you. 

Always: this isn't a word that you should use lightly, because when i said i would always love you i meant that there was a piece of me that would love you long after we parted. 

Amend: i tried to fix our issues but when only one person wants to solve them a half hearted stitch job is all that occurs. i tried to say sorry for my mistakes but when you wont own up to yours, things are impossible.

Ambiguous: nothing about you was ever certain, we never had a title and we were both left unsure where we stood with each other. the only thing that wasn't ambiguous about you was the way you left me.

Antagonist: i’m not sure which one of us became the antagonists in each others stories first but we both ended up creating more harm than good for each other.

Anthem: i remember realising 102 was our song and the 1975 was our band in the second time i even spoke to you. i remember the importance it would hold to me and the love i would feel with these songs and this band and it was wonderful. i remember asking you to sing it again and again and finding a home in your voice - i loved you and that song, and that band.  

Anticlockwise: sometimes i find myself looking back on things so much it feels as though i'm going back in time, how am i supposed to move forward when my heart is stuck in what we used to be.

Antiperspirant: i keep trying to cover the scent of you and yet it seems to get stronger with every spray of the can.

Apologetic: i was always the one saying sorry, even when you had been in the wrong. i was so desperate to keep you in my life that i would say sorry a million times over. i probably still would if it meant it would bring you back. 

Argue: we never did it to start with, you were my best friend and best friends don't do that. but you developed a tangled web of untruths and broke me which lead to drunken nights and arguments. nothing was ever resolved and i was always undoubtedly the one in the wrong. no matter what. maybe if you took some of the blame then we wouldn't be so broken.

Armour: i wasn't even done polishing my shield from our last battle and yet you began hitting me with more and more cruel words.

Audition: nobody met the cut before you and yet as soon as you came along i understood why nothing worked out with anyone else.

August: although you had known me for months before it was the august that you decided to start playing a prominent role in my life. it was the august that i would wait up until midnight just to be able to talk to you for a few hours. the august that changed things for me.