I: me without you is just a singular person. it strikes me as funny how the letter itself stands alone, like a person. i too will stand tall soon, but i think i am allowed to be broken and upset for a little longer at least. it has only been two weeks after all.
If: ‘if i do this then you can do that’ but why cant you just do something for me for once in your life without expecting something in return? why can't you just give me a part of you without demanding an even larger part of me?
Idea: as a dreamer i'm always thinking about what i want and how to get it
Impaired: just because i cant see without my glasses doesn't mean i am unable to tell when something has changed about the way you're carrying yourself.
Independent: i was long before you but over time i learn to depend on you too. i learnt that not all loads have to be hauled alone. but now you're gone and my small hands are overflowing with the load you left behind. you never helped with what i depended on you for, just took it away for a while and gave it back to me as you left and returned the rest of my belongings
Infatuate: maybe i am more in love with the idea of being in love with someone than actually being in love.
Insist: i spent so long convincing to people that i was coping okay that i forgot how to even cope properly. but in this sense by telling people i was fine over and over like a broken record i began to just feel as though i was - even if i really wasn’t.
Insecure: i used to be so insecure about my body but you loved me and you loved it. and in turn i learnt to love it, but when i read those messaged from her i began to second guess the way that i looked. yes i am aware that i am art but perhaps my body is more abstract than something from the romantic era.
Inspire: you leaving gave me enough inspiration to start a new project, to travel the country, to get away from the small town that i had been so desperate to leave. thank you. even in your absence you are still inspiring me and my writing.
Instinct: it’s human instinct to fall in love with someone, but why are my instincts live wired to make me fall for people who are so determined to break my heart?
Intentions: were yours ever what you said they were or did you have an ulterior motive behind them all this time?
Introductions: we were both as bad at them as each other, just a few mumbled words and a nod of the head before going on with our days. who knew where we would be a year and a bit on? who knew where this story would take us a year on?
Irritability: i was in love with someone who was afraid of answering certain questions, and like a fool i kept binging them up. again and again. it was almost completely guaranteed that we would end up imploding in on ourselves eventually.
Issues: each week was like a new addition into the weekly newsletter of us, they started to pile up after a while. even your flatmate started to get more invested in us, she was probably reading the newsletter too. but most newsprints go out of print eventually, it was inevitable for us to do the same.
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