J:ournal

Jagged: your hands were dry and jagged, they weren't too nice to hold. 

Jelly: the first time you picked me up for work i walked out of my front door and my legs felt like jelly as i went round to the passenger side of the car. i’m surprised i didn't fall to the ground to be honest. 

Job: when i started working there someone told me to keep my work life and personal life separate. not to date anyone that worked there, i guess i forgot about that when it came to you.

Join: thank you for letting me join in on your drives to the beach. it was nice to be a part of something, even if it was just a temporary thing.

Joke: ‘it was just a joke’

          ‘well it wasn't a very funny one’

Joke (2.0): is that what i was to you? another one of your infamously unfunny jokes? 

Journal: i found yours once, i’m sorry for looking in it. i was just curious.

Journey: sometimes i debated booking flights as soon as i had been paid and turning up at your door to surprise you. i wish i had.

Joy: i always relate this word to christmas, a time of seasonal love and joy for everyone. that was the time we started seeing each other, the day before christmas ever was the first time i stayed over. i still have seven months until next christmas - hopefully you will be out of my mind by then.

Juilliard: i’m sorry, but your musical talents never compared to that of a juilliard student.

Jump: every jump is met with a fall, you learnt that the night we went to the beach and you and your friend decided to jump off sand dunes. i learnt that when i was left stood on the edge of a cliff questioning whether the fall would be enough to kill me instead of just breaking my bones and leaving me in a hospital bed that i knew you wouldn't visit.

Jumper: i keep a few of my mums jumpers at the end of my bed as a way of feeling close to her even when she's not around. yours used to live there too.

June: the month you decided to attempt to rewrite yourself into my narrative, the month i stood my ground for all of five minutes and then let you back to have you play me all over again. i’m the one to blame for that time.

Just: relationships should be based on two people, it’s when the rest of the world starts to get involved that things become tarnished.

Justification: i shouldn't have to justify my mental illness to you. please stop making me do it.

Juxtaposition: we were complete opposites of each other in almost every possible way and yet we somehow worked, though eventually the differences began to wear us thin.