P:rayer

Peace: here’s my peace offering to you. please accept it, it’s the only part of me that you haven't already taken.

Petals: he loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he loves me not, he loved me, he loves me not.

Perfect: you weren't perfect, but you were mine.

Perfume: i decided to wear a different perfume one day and the first thing that you said when i got in your car was that i smelt different. i didn't think you would notice that much, but apparently you did. throughout the course of the day you grew accustomed to the scent of it, pulling me in closer just to get a hit.

Peroxide: sometimes i think of you as the peroxide that you put into your hair to get it to those obscene colours, it burns and kills every single purity it touches. much like you do.

Photos: i still can’t bring myself to delete the photos of you and i from my phone, maybe i will someday but not yet. they will stay on there with our messages until i am fully able to free myself from you.

Pizza: the night i messaged you crying and you offered to buy me pizza still holds a place in my heart. you knew how to try and make things better for me, i loved our friendship more than anything.

Plan: i know got has a plan and that in the grand scheme of things all of this pain is probably to shape me into the person he wants me to be but i can’t help but wonder whether he's got confused with me. because all i’m doing is struggling and he doesn't seem to be sending any help my way.

Playlist: i know you don't care anymore but i made you a playlist of songs i would have played for you if i had got the chance.

Please: learn your manners, maybe you'll actually get what you want that way.

Poetry: i haven't written any since i left you, my journal is tucked away incase i feel a need to but right now i am trying my best to immerse myself in life.

Popcorn: the first time i came over to yours i poured a bowl of popcorn over your head as a joke, we were still finding parts of the corn pieces in your room three months later.

Practice: ‘i mean, you're okay at that. you could do with some more practice though.’

Prank: you're nineteen, stop acting like you're seven.

Prayer: i’ve prayed for you more times than i would like to admit, i've prayed that you will come back and i’ve prayed that i can get through this. every prayer leads back to you.

Pretend: sometimes i like to pretend that nothing even happened between us, that is until someone asks me how you are and i have to respond that i don't know. i guess not everyone talks as much when things end as they do when things begin.

Pretty: this is how you used to make me feel.

Pride: every ounce of self respect and dignity i had was burnt by you.

Prom: i never planned to take you, perhaps i never actually saw you in my future. or perhaps i was just so intent on being independent and my own person that i forgot that you might have wanted to come too.

Punctuation: it really does change everything, you put more full stops than ever in our last few messages. they felt more like bullets than anything.

Push: you pushed me to be the best person that i could be, you made me want to wake up in the morning and for that i will be forever thankful.