S:and

Sad: honestly, this word doesn't describe how i felt when you left me. there are no words in the dictionary that could describe that. but it does describe how i feel looking back on us now, a year is a good healer.

Sand: once an idea plants itself in your mind it takes more effort than you would like to admit to even begin remove it from its root. it’s the same with sand grains in between your toes, you will be finding them in your bed for weeks on end after one trip to the beach.

Scared: the thought of a life without you in used to terrify me, and now it has become my reality. i am so scared to wake up in the morning and be met with the harsh reminder that you won't be there.

Scratches: i didn't leave those on your back; i hadn't slept with you in two weeks. i stayed up until 4am while you slept soundly beside me as i was trying to work out why you'd acted like this, who you had gone to, and why i wasn't good enough; yet i still failed to understand.

Seaside: you got annoyed when i told you i was going to the seaside with my friends instead of you. it’s not my fault i couldn't come out for your two am trips unless i was already with you.

Secrets: even though we’ve parted ways i will never tell anyone else the things you told me when we were together, i respect you enough for that to stay true. i hope this is the same with you.

Seventeen: i am only seventeen; i have so much more to learn than i would like to think. it turned out that you were a lesson in the form of my second heartbreak.

Shakespeare: you never did understand my love for him and his writing, you thought a dead man’s plays were as dead as him, useless and unneeded in todays society. but i lived for them.

‘these violent delights have violent ends’ - i should have listened to him more than i listened to you.

Sheltered: i lived a sheltered childhood, my parents were always honest with me when i asked questions but for the most part i was sheltered and hidden from the harsh reality of the world. it is only recently that i am becoming angry about this, i know they did it out of the good of their own hearts but perhaps i wouldn't have been so naive had i not been as sheltered as i was.

Side: i was drunk and in your room for the first time as you told me that the left side was ‘your side’ of the bed, yet as you saw my sulking face start to appear you quickly offered the left side to me. i didn't want it, i just wanted to be awkward and annoying.

Skip: i skipped so many classes and days of school just to be able to lay in bed and watch Harry Potter with you.

Sleep: it’s overrated to do on your own once you've got a taste of doing it with someone.

Smile: every time you smiled a little too wide, or laughed a little too loud, you would tilt your head back and bite your lip. you didn't think i noticed to begin with but when i pointed it out as one of the things i loved about you as a person you realised how much attention i paid to the minute details of things.

Smoke: people used to use smoke as a way of sending signals to other people. i guess as i started smoking more i was trying to send you a signal that i was breaking. all you did was feed that addiction in the end.

Somebody: everyone says that i will end up finding happiness with somebody else but i don't think i want to find somebody else. i guess you're happier with her though and when all i ever wanted was for you to be happy i guess i should be glad one of us is.

Soap: sometimes i debate washing out my mouth to remove the taste of you from me.

Sorry: maybe if i say it enough times you will come back to me.

Speed-dial: i don't even use it but i know you're supposed to have the people you care about on it, thats why you were on mine. i finally took you off of it today.

Stay: you always said you wanted me to stay at yours forever, i would always tell you i can never promise you forever. but as much as forever as was possible.

Stop: when did you stop loving me? when did i stop being enough for you?

Strength: it took everything i had to walk away. it takes everything i have not to call you and tell you i still love you. i didn't know my own strength until i left you.

Stone: my hearts tuning to stone, i'm forgetting what it feels like to give love and be loved.

Succeed: somehow you succeeded at making me feel like i was guilty for the way you had treated me, as though i was the one who had lead you to act in the way that you did. maybe you should learn to own up to your actions for once in your goddamn life.

Sunlight: i loved you more than the first ray of sunlight over the ocean in the morning, i loved you more than the wind blowing between the pine trees.

Sure: i never say anything unless i am sure of it, that’s why it took me so long to tell you i loved you. that’s why i never confronted you about the other girls, i had convinced myself so strongly that it wasn't the truth that even i began to become unsure.

Surreal: i’m still struggling to get to grips of the concept of a life without you in.