This month has been all over the place in terms of music for me, a lot of my favourite artists have been releasing new stuff or re-releasing stuff I already loved which has been wild to say the least. I made a few playlists this month alongside my monthly one and so songs in this post will be coming from all of them.


NEW FINDS

The band that made me fall in love with being alive again came back after their year long hiatus, yes, I'm talking about Twenty Øne Piløts. I didn't know what to expect from their new music and I didn't realise how badly I needed it, and them, again. Without much warning they dropped their two track EP featuring tracks from their upcoming album Jumpsuit and Nico and the Niners are both so incredible. Tyler Joseph is an immensely talented man.

Jaden Smith released an electric stripped back EP featuring several tracks from his album SYRE. If you have been reading these posts for a while you will know that in November I couldn't get enough of that album and so the fact they have been revisited is everything to me! It's also no surprise that Ninety is my favourite on this EP.

At the end of June Drake dropped his album Scorpion. If you knew me in 2014 you would know that Nicki Minaj's Boss Ass Bitch performance was my favourite thing and so the fact that he remixed it and gave it a new take in That's How You Feel had me literally gasping.

Pale Waves have also been releasing more singles in the lead up to their album which is due to be released in August. The song Noises hit me awfully hard, I don't think I've fully related to a song and its lyrics in that way for a long while.

I never really got on the Charlie XCX hype but her song 5 In The Morning has been over played to say the least this month. It's like the modern version of No Scrubs.

Maisie Peter's single Worst Of You is wonderful, as expected from her.

Though I have followed Ella Grace Denton on social media for years I never listened to any of her music but the single Run is one of the most beautiful and calming songs. I have been listening to it on my cycles into the city and it has been leaving me feeling so inspired.

Zayn released his newest single Sour Diesel and it's a big fat vibe to be honest. The lyrics are fab, the music is wonderful and I am so excited for the rest of his new stuff because if it is anything like this then it is surely going to be insane.

I have been on an Emma Chamberlian binge session for most of the month, I literally can't stop watching her (please send me to rehab this is becoming a problem) and she does these little segments in her videos where she just blasts the music she's been loving. She seems to have the same kind of music taste as me which is great because it means I find a heap of tunes through her. This is how I came across the track Chinese New Year by SALES. I loved it and it instantly found a home in my playlist.

The 1975's new track Love It If We Made It has become my new go to summer track. This is getting blasted everywhere and anywhere and I think everyone's getting a bit sick of it but bloody hell this track is too good to not blast.

OLDIES BUT GOLDIES 

Remember that Gym Class Heroes song Cupids Chokehold/Breakfast in America? Yeah, that made it's way into my playlist and my host family and I have been dancing round the kitchen to it in the evenings.

Every now and then I remember how wonderful Matt Corby is and how important the song Runaway has been to me over the past few years. If I'm having a hard time or feeling remotely anxious this will be put on to stop me from completely breaking.

Taylor Swift is the most wonderful woman in the world in my eyes and every now and then I am reminded of how much of a lyrical genius she is. Clean, You Are In Love and Delicate are the songs that have been on repeat while I've been up at three am overthinking life this past month.

Someone on my Instagram stories asked me what my favourite The 1975 song is and it's like you guys don't even know me!! 102 will always be my favourite by Matty himself, however as I mentioned in my reply I adore Antichrist, Me, You, fallingforyou, and A Change Of Heart which I have been listening to lots lately in anticipation of the new album.

Elysium by Bears Den will always be one of my favourite music videos to exist and will forever inspire me to live and to create. I love their sound, it has always been one of the most calming things for me. As well as Elysium I have also been listening to A Year Ago Today and Think of England.

Remember in 2014 when The Fault in Our Stars was released and everyone used to cry over Tee Shirt by Birdy (or was that just me)? Yeah, I was reminded of that time period and rediscovered my love for how pure and wonderful that song is.

I'm back on my nothing,nowhere. bullshit and have been listening to I'm Sorry I'm Trying and Ruiner so much. There's something about their music that makes me feel so safe and sane, and in the stress of everything that is going on for me at the moment that is just what I need.

When I applied to be an au pair I didn't really think about the fact I would have to be packing up all my belongings and moving them to another country. It was about two weeks before when the realisation of what I was going to begin to do sunk in and so I had to work out what to take, what to leave behind, and what I could ship over or bring over with me at a later date. Somehow through all the stress I managed to pack up a hand luggage case, backpack and a large case full of my life and flew off to Holland.

There are some things that I was literally so stupid about forgetting, some that looking back I really didn't need to pack at all and other things I am so so glad I packed. If you're considering a year abroad, or are just plain nosey, or (like me) have a guilty pleasure for anything packing and travel related then this is the post for you.

WHAT WAS PACKED?

WHAT HAVE I GOT MYSELF SINCE MOVING?

1) Distance means nothing when a person means so much, you can live in another country and still have some of the strongest friendships and relationships with people an ocean away from you. The key is communication, this is vital.

2) When you work out what you want to do with your life don’t let people tell you that it isn’t possible. Don’t even give them the time of day, just use their doubt to fuel your passion, to be able to turn around and say, ‘but look, I can and I am’.

3) Closure doesn’t happen over night, and nobody but you knows what will allow you to close the chapter in your life that has been haunting you. Sometimes closure takes longer than you would realise to happen, this is okay. You will use the lessons you have learnt from everything that happened to better yourself.

4) There is nothing like homemade food and a glass of wine after a long week. 

5) I am my own, I am my home and I am my own light. Everything I need to get me through this life I have within me, every ounce of courage I may need is here. I can move mountains if I want to, but I can also much more simply find peace within myself and stop searching for acceptance from everyone else.

6) Words are powerful, they can shape and heal or shatter and break. It is vital that we chose them wisely, as a writer and a person this is something I believe more than anything.

7) Fucking hell remember to drink water, you literally can’t function without it and your body, mindset and skin will thank you for it. Trust me. Also eat your fruit and veg, make sure you get your five a day. Your body will thank you for that too.

8) Stop comparing yourself to others, you are on your own path to success in your own life. Nobody is destined to achieve things at the same time just keep working hard on what you want to do and remember that you are going to succeed if you do this.

9) There is no shame in texting someone first, stop being so stubborn and reach out to your friends first. The same goes for business, there is literally no harm in emailing companies, bands and pr people asking for work and even if you get rejected this is still a way of getting your name out there. 

10) So much of your life has been spent living in the past, wondering what could have happened had things panned out differently. Beginning to accept that you can’t change your past but you can work on changing your future into something you want is so bloody important.

11) It’s important to take breaks and not overwork yourself, nobody will know if you went to bed at 11pm instead of staying up until 3am to finish work. Chances are you are more awake and vigilant if you sleep and work in the morning.

12) Exercise in the morning whether this is yoga going for a run or cycling, getting your body moving will wake you up and get the endorphins in your body going to have a productive day. 

13) Read, always read. Take a book on the train with you and sit and have down time instead of being glued to technology at all times, there are worlds beyond this one and all you have to do is turn a page.

14) Just because you have acne prone skin doesn’t mean you have to hide. I used to refuse to go out because of my acne reaching the point it had damaged my self esteem, I used to refuse to even go to work without wearing a full face because that way my spots would be covered. Let it breathe when it is bad, drink water, keep up your skin care routine (and if you don’t have one for the love of god at least moisturise and wash your face morning and night). 

15) Never go anywhere without a lighter and headphones, you would be surprised how handy these two things are when you have them at all times.

16) Cities are were I belong, exploring new places and taking photos is what I love more than anything. You can live your whole life in a city and never see the whole of it; explore regularly; get off trams at a stop different to your usual one and explore the place you have ended up. If all else fails Google maps will be on your side and get you back to your starting point.

17) Say yes to those plans you think you are far too busy for. Chances are you aren’t and having a busy schedule will leave you feeling much more motivated than if you are working all the time. You are never too busy for friends and family.

18) Following on from my last point, people die all the time and this past year I’ve lost far too many people. Cherish and appreciate the time you have with people because you never know when it is going to be over - even if that hurts to admit. Spend days with your grandparents, laugh as they tell you the same story you have heard a dozen times before. Make memories while you can, you won’t regret the time you spent with them but you sure as hell will find yourself regretting the times you didn’t spend with them.

19) You’ll be ok, you made it through all the shit before and this isn’t going to be any different. A year can change a lot, you will end up looking back on everything you are going through right now as a reminder that life moves on and things change.

So, June is over and we are officially halfway through the year which is such a crazy concept to me. The past few months seem to have flown by, and speaking of flying all these new albums that have been flying into the world recently are a godsend. I love this time of year in the music industry, everyone releases tunes in the hopes of becoming the summer soundtracks (to the point that literally three of my favourite bands released albums on the same day and it's safe to say it was the best day of the month).

This is why au pairing was so ideal for me, it allowed me to escape my hometown, see the world, and have a steady and reliable income. 

Can you believe May is already over? This year feels as though it is going by at the speed of light after what felt like a never ending January. As always, music monthly is here to put together a heap of new tunes that I have been listening to pretty much non stop all month, split into two sections of songs I found this month and ones that have been around for a while yet have made their way into my playlists we have a lot of music o get through (I feel like each of these posts is getting longer and longer). Anyway, grab yourself a drink and have a read to find yourself some new tunes and see what I have been loving this past month.

NEW FINDS

They only went and Hamil-dropped a new Hamildrop (wow that was a terrible pun please never let me make that ever again). This is a new take on my favourite song from the musical, Burn, which has been retitled as First Burn and oh my god this is everything. I am literally shook to my core over this song, the production is everything, the video they released for it is insane, the vocals are phenomenal and just wow.

Childish Gambino also known as Donald Glover also known as the love of my life has released his newest track This Is America and I cannot get enough of it. The video is so so clever, it has so many cultural references towards gun violence and the way that American society runs, SZA appears in it too and that has me shook to my very core. This is a track that I listen to in the mornings when I'm doing the school run to make myself feel a bit better about how early I am awake just to cycle for ten minutes!

I got to see my favourite band live this month and they released another new track that is an absolute banger, somehow State Champs will forever be able to completely amaze me with their music. Crystal Ball is such a banger and I loved hearing it live just as much as I love listening to it through my earphones. They are such lovely guys too which is probably another reason that I love them as much as I do.

When I watched Like Crazy the other day I fell in love with the soundtrack, especially the song at the end which is titled Dead Hearts by Stars. Though this one is nowhere to be found on Spotify their track All Your Ex Lovers Are Dead has found a nice spot in my May playlist, it's so chill and I'm literally listening to it as I type this.

Nina Nesbitt released her track The Sun Will Come Up, The Seasons Will Change which was featured on the CW show Life Sentence and it is so beautiful, it is just a constant reminder to live for now and how everything really is temporary. It kind of reminds me of Ed Sheeran's Castle On The Hill but in my perspective this is a better narrative.

I love Julien Baker and her music is laced throughout my playlists, YouTube recommend came up with her song Appointments for me and it is just as haunting and wonderful as everything else that she has created. There is almost a sense of home within her lyrics, they are like a warm hug but also a stab in the chest that make me cry. I don't think I did the best job explaining that but hey you get what I mean (or at least I hope you do anyway).

Whenever I'm working I will put on a lofi/hip hip playlist on from YouTube (here's my favourite) and ever since I have fallen completely in love with that genre of music. For this reason when Joji released Yeah Right it's just been a constant mood, I feel like if my life had a soundtrack this would be the song that played as I fell in love with fuckboy after fuckboy. I've also been loving I Don't Wanna Waste My Time.

My friend introduced me to Aminé's music and ever since Caroline has been stuck in my head non stop because it's a bloody bop.




OLDIES BUT GOLDIES

Coldplay's track Strawberry Swing has been on repeat this month, I only came across it again when I was looking for Troye's song Strawberries & Cigarettes but just fell in love with it all over again. This band will always be such a source of nostalgic happiness for me and this song is the perfect song for the summery months of the year,

When I think of chill music I think of Mahalia who has been one of my favourite artists for the longest time, her songs Borrowers and No Reply made it onto my playlist this month. Alongside that her cover of the Arctic Monkeys song Mardy Bum also made its way into my playlist.

Speaking of the Arctic Monkeys and despite the disappointment of the new album I have been listening to more of their old stuff again. The View From The Afternoon and Love Is A Lazerquest have been two faves this past month, there's something so fun about listening to old music that reminds me of my childhood in the summer months and this band will always be one of the ones that do that for me.

Blackbear was an artist that filled my playlists this time last year and yet for some reason or another I kind of stopped listening to him. This month I remembered his song hell is where i dreamt of you and woke up alone and fell back in love with his music. While I'm for sure nowhere near as obsessed as I once was there is no denying the man has talent.

On this blog we love and respect Kevin Abstract, my friend put Yellow and Empty into a playlist they made for me and I remembered just how good those tracks are. The music is insane, the lyrics are wonderful. Abstract deserves so much more respect and appreciation.

At this point I don't think music monthly is complete without me sharing what BROCKHAMPTON song that I have been loving this past month. SUMMER has been blasting for the obvious reasons of how much better the weather has been getting lately while TOKYO has also been one of my favourites. (Also ENICO purely because my friend Em and I have a tendency to yell 'what the fuck is a Scotland' at each other).

The Japanese House's lyrics will never fail to amaze me, they are so captivatingly haunting and beautiful. Whenever I find myself struggling with my writing I will sit and listen to them and wait for their words to bring me the inspiration that I so desperately need. This month I adored Still.

As soon as the second season of the controversial show Thirteen Reasons Why was announced there was an understandable backlash from the online world. Personally, I found myself conflicted. As much as I wanted to know how they were going to develop the storyline from what we were shown in the first season; I was also terrified of the effects that it could have on my mental health based on the detrimental way that the first season affected me.

"While these are real issues, the stories are not." - A quote from the warning video which plays at the beginning of the second season, something that is so important to remember. Yes, these are real issues but everything in the show is presented through acting, everything is being put onto the screen to open up these conversations that would perhaps otherwise be a lot harder to have an open discussion about.

As I just mentioned, this season begins with a warning from the cast of the 'real world issues' that the show explores, encouraging anyone that is likely to be triggered to refrain from watching it or if they do then to do so with a trusted adult or friend. It also encourages anyone who feels triggered by the events of the show to seek help and links websites in which they can find some form of help.

For me, this was a big step in the right direction for the season - it had straight away changed what they had failed to do in the first season and sent people in immediate search of help if needed. You were also unable to skip to the next episode of the season until a title screen came up directing you to https://13reasonswhy.info/ which was another win from the producers. It really made the audience aware that there are helplines and various sources of help out there.

Once you land on the homepage of the site itself is full of local helplines, websites to go to and various other things. You come to a page that is titled 'Talk To Someone' and right from the get go it leads people to find the help that is necessary for them based on their location, meaning that no matter where in the world you are there is a library of help available for you.

This season is about the trial of Hannah Baker's family vs the school, you learn about the truth of the tapes and how she lived her life in the run up to her death in much more depth. As well as this it explores the characters attempts to rebuild their lives in the wake of her death, encourages victims of sexual assault to come forward and speak their truth, and tackles a lot of other issues.

Without giving too much of it away for those who want to watch it it explores mental health differently through Skye, who finds herself able to rebuild her life in spite of the way that she completely deteriorates. It also teaches you in a much more careful way than the last (that being said there needs to be a massive trigger warning for everyone before they watch the final episode specifically 38:00 - 40:00 minutes in which has a horrific scene that nobody I have spoken to about the show has been able to bring themselves to watch).

'No matter how many reasons there might be why, there are always more why not' - Mrs Baker to Clay at Hannah's funeral wake.

All in all this season was put together in a much better manner and gave a more positive outlook on mental health, it dealt with things in a way I felt was much more cautious than season one and for that they deserve some appreciation. However it can also be packed with triggers for other people, here's a tweet I found listing a heap of them for anyone who is perhaps considering it and would like to avoid them the best they can.

I think the thing is, you are the one who is able to judge what kind of mental state you are in if you are watching this. While there are definitely shows and movies which explore mental health in a healthier way his is also a show that has opened so many people's eyes to high school culture and mental health alongside many other issues. If this is the show that has made someone aware or lead them to seek help then that is great, however like I have mentioned it is also packed full of triggers which can be immensely detrimental too.

What were your views on the second season? Have you watched it? Let me know in the comments below and lets have a chat about it all!

Back in January I did a little blog post talking about the books I was reading throughout the month and what I thought of the books. Four months on I have read a lot more books since then and thought I would put together a kind of half way through the year here's the books I have liked so far kind of post. If you have any book suggestions then please feel free to leave me a comment as I am constantly looking for new books and am often going through about a book or half a book a week so need lots of suggestions!

Also if you use good reads then be sure to add me on there and see what I'm up to book wise as I am constantly updating it with my latest reads and book progress.


BOOK ONE - THIS MODERN LOVE // WILL DARBYSHIRE

The one book that will make me fall head first into love with the idea of love no matter how many times I read it, this book is so beautifully composed and shares love stories from people of all different paths of life. You are presented with tales crushes, heartbreaks and love as people from all across the globe wrote into Will to share their experiences, it can't be made up. These tales are too true, too hard hitting and heartbreaking to even consider them as fiction.

This is a book for everyone no matter your age or gender or wether you are familiar with Will's content online, this book is always there when I need a reminder that love exists. It sits on my bedside table and brings me the same comfort I am able to find in a cup of coffee.

BOOK TWO - ANOTHER DAY // DAVID LEVITHAN

This is my favourite of David's books, I read it two years ago for the first time after finishing Everyday (this is the sister book to it) and completely fell in love with the idea of a duel narrative tale. While everyday tells the love story from 'A's' point of view this one shares it from Rhiannon's, it explores her confusion and her determination to find love.

I am the kind of person that will dod ear pages and highlight passages I love in books (much to my parents annoyance after they spent so much time raiding me not to draw in books). This is one of those books that you can flick through and see so many turned corners and black underlining, I can't explain how much I love this book but it is incredible.

BOOK THREE - MILK AND HONEY // RUPI KAUR

While I was home I decided to read a few of my poetry books from my ever growing collection, despite Rupi being referred to as 'tumblr poerty' I find so much comfort within her words. If you are looking for a book of healing and growth then this is for you.

BOOK FOUR - HERE I AM // JONATHAN SAFRAN FOER

I don't think I have ever cried as much over the ending of a book than I did over this one. The book itself explores the dynamics of a family and what happens as they begin to deteriorate. Though a lot of people disliked it once you get past the kind of strange writing style you will be hooked, after 80 pages I struggled to put it down and my host family knew not to talk to me when I was reading it. It's also on the bigger side of the books on this list considering it is 600+ pages long meaning it really was one that I had to throw myself into,

Safran Foer, in my opinion, has a brilliant mind and I am aching to read more of his works after this!



BOOK FIVE - NEVER LET ME GO // KAZUO ISHIGURO

This was probably one of the most disappointing books in the list, I'm not saying I didn't enjoy it but more that it wasn't what I had expected it to be. When writing my A Level dystopian coursework two years ago my teacher gushed about this book and how I 'just had to read it' because she knew I would love it.

While it was well written and had a somewhat decent plot I just felt it lacked something that I struggled to put my finger on. It kind of reminded me why I took a step back from dystopian fiction in the first place.

BOOK SIX - CALL ME BY YOUR NAME // ANDRE ACIMAN

Following me on social media comes with infinite posts from me about this book, film and Timothee Chalamet in general. To say I am infatuated with this book would be an understatement because infatuations are temporary, it is much more of a deep longing and love I hold for it. I did the stupid thing, I watched the film first and didn't give the book a chance (which was only because I didn't know the book existed) and fell in love with it.

The book, in differentiation to the film, continues the story further and explores the parallel lives that Oliver and Elio live in the future and completely reminds me of 'The Good Side' by Troye Sivan. I love this book, I think it will be one of those books that I will forever love and long for, I wish I could read it for the first time over and over again because it reminded me of love and summers and finding who you are.

BOOK SEVEN - ALEX AND ELIZA //MELISSA DE LA CRUZ

Being honest after reading Call Me By Your Name nothing was ever going to compare but I couldn't even finish this book. I think I picked it up because it was about Alexander Hamilton (aka the founding father my favourite musical in the world is based in) and wanted to see another fictional take on it but it just didn't sit right with me. It was clearly intended for younger end of the young adult spectrum and wasn't anywhere near as well written as I had hoped.




BOOK EIGHT - IF I STAY // GAYLE FOREMAN

After the drama of reading Alex and Eliza I decided to go for a story that I knew I loved and picked up my battered copy of If I Stay. This sent me on a two week meltdown of being incredibly emotional about Adam and Mia within both books in the series as well as the movie too.

This is a book of love and loss and the weight of the decision of whether to live or die. If you haven't read it then there isn't a single bone in my body that won't recommend it to you.

BOOK NINE - WHERE SHE WENT // GAYLE FOREMAN

The sequel to If I Stay which comes from a completely different narrative perspective, this time we get Adam's view on the world. We learn about what happened when Mia moved across the states to Juilliard and we are shown what happens to Adam and his band. There are a lot of questions answered in this and a lot more created.

I didn't know I needed a sequel to If I Stay until I held it in my hands, this book is everything you want a sequel to be and more. It is almost better than the first and just as heartbreaking (if not more). I am completely in love with Adam and he has become embedded in the list of fictional characters that I have fallen in love with over the years.



BOOK TEN - PAPER TOWNS // JOHN GREEN

I've watched the film, but I had never read the book. John Green will always be one of my favourite authors and yet something held me back, most likely it had something to do with how disappointed with the film I was in comparison to If I Stay and my reluctance to be disappointed by the book too. I put this off for years but finally picked it up off my book shelf and gave it a read and boy am I glad I did.

Sometimes books should stay books and not be made into films, I believe this about Paper Towns. We didn't need a screen version, we needed a world built out of words and put into their own paper town. There is so much in this book that you don't gain an understanding of in the film and so honestly, read this. Learn that people aren't mysteries they are people and they are complicated but if you pay attention to them, real close attention, you will learn everything you need to in their smallest actions.

BOOK ELEVEN - THE SHOCK OF THE FALL // NATHAN FILER

Another that was suggested to me while I was studying A Level English that I never got around to picking up until now. This book explores mental health in one of the most complex and beautiful narrative ways. You are met with difficult family dynamics and words of wonder and joy, you're met with a child who had to grow up too quickly and yet somehow didn't ever really grow up at all. It explored the ghosts of the past and the way they effect you as a person, how lost you can be and the truth in the difficulty of rebuilding your life after everything you know leaves.



BOOK TWELVE - THE BOYS I'VE LOVED AND THE END OF THE WORLD // CATARINE HANCOCK

I followed Catarine on Twitter for the longest time and had a complete infatuation with the writing she would post, for poetry month she put her books on sale at a reduced price and so I got myself them both as a reward for doing the complete bare minimum one day.

This collection of poems is so well written, so immensely beautiful and hard hitting to me and my past experiences that I was almost shocked I hadn't written it, or hat it hadn't at least been written about me.

BOOK THIRTEEN - HOW THE WORDS COME // CATARINE HANCOCK

The second an most recent of Catarine's books also pulled on my heart strings, I loved her writing style and how she has developed it since TBILATEOTW! If you are looking to support independent writers then this is one of the must have poetry collections for your book shelves, or even your kindle app.

BOOK FOURTEEN - THE DOGS I HAVE KISSED // TRISTA MATEER

To conclude my poetry binge I went back to one of my most loved poetry books, The Dogs I Have Kissed by Trista Mateer. There is something about her writing that will always leave me going back to it again and again, these are words that I have shared with my friends and family and have grown to find so much of myself in. Again, if you want to support an independent poet then give this a read too.

BOOK FIFTEEN - THEY BOTH DIE AT THE END // ADAM SILVERA

After all the poetry binging I picked up another novel, this time young adult again too. This is set in a dystopian world (wow can you tell I like dystopian novels) where death cast, a service that alerts you of your end day, is in place. The story is told in a multi narrative, mainly based on the perspective of the two teenage protagonists whi have been given the alert of their deaths.

While sometimes very heavy on the 'you only live once, live your best life' kind of mindset if you can get past that you are presented with a wonderful story of learning to live for now. It forced me to think about my life, how I spend so much time hiding away and thinking that it's fine because I have unlimited tomorrows to do something with my life. Yet the reality is we don't have unlimited tomorrows, we have a certain amount of days and we should embrace them to the best of our ability.

BOOK SIXTEEN - SALT // NAYYIRAH WAHEED

I had been reading this on trams for about three weeks, just opening my kindle app and having a read whenever I got a free moment and I loved this poetry collection. It was beautifully written, each poem was short but each of the words carefully crafted a world of thought within them. I will forever recommend this to anyone.

BOOK SEVENTEEN - LOOKING FOR ALASKA // JOHN GREEN

The final John Green book that I had to read in order to have read them all and the one that bloody ripped my heart out the most. It is one thing to love someone but one thing to actually have them, to appreciate them and this book taught me this. It taught me that your friends are some of the most wonderful people to exist and never to take them for granted, that the teenage years of sitting getting drunk and smoking don't last forever and to make as many memories as possible. Most of all not to drink and drive.

This books was just as wonderful as I had hoped and I think it is probably up there with Turtles All The Way Down and An Abundance of Katharine's as of my favourite John Green books to exist.

BOOK EIGHTEEN - PLEASE DON'T GO BEFORE I GET BETTER // MADISEN KHUN

Follow me on instagram and you will see my constant posts about Madisen Khun's poetry, about how much I love it and her as a person. Her first book Eighteen Years is the closest thing to a best friend I could find for years, I found so much comfort within her words and the knowledge that it is okay to feel things, that you just need an outlet. This is why last year when she announced that she was releasing her second book I literally lost my shit, I changed my phone background to the announcement artwork, yelled to everyone I knew that they *had* to buy it and preordered my copy almost instantly.

After months of waiting it finally arrived at my house and I sobbed reading it, there are so many dog eared pages and underlined passages in my copy already. It won the place for the one book I had room for in my suitcase back to Holland and has been sat proudly on my bedside table ever since (of course being picked up to bed read in between that time too). These words have been read in the clouds (literally), they have been read in the bath, in bed and in god knows how many other places. If you get any book please for the love of god let it be this one.

BOOK NINETEEN - HOLDING UP THE UNIVERSE // JENNIFER NIVEN

I've not finished this one yet so I can't give a full opinion but from what I've read, I love it. I never got into the All The Bright Places hype but this book seems to work better for me, I can't wait to see how the characters develop and plot expands over time.


Thats it for all the books I have read so far this year, what have you guys been reading? Let me know, tell me about your favourite books and authors, give me heaps of reading suggestions! My comments are always open for your opinions x

Recently I've received a lot of messages from you guys saying how you've have booked trips to Amsterdam and were wondering if I would be able to give some tips on what to do in the city. Considering I've lived here for about seven months now I thought I would put together a little list of the must see places, best restaurants and my favourite spots.





ACCOMODATION 

I've done Amsterdam in three ways, I've stayed in a hostel, I've stayed in a hotel and I've moved here and live in he suburbs in a home (duh). For this reason I thought I would give you a little rundown of where I've stayed and my thoughts on the places first, after all if you're on a budget then this is always helpful to know!

Okay so, let's start with hostels. There tends to be this stigma around them that they are dirty and annoying but they are the most affordable way to travel and you will meet so many people there. I literally went and sat outside at mine for about five minutes while having a cigarette and met a lovely Canadian who I befriended. It is such a fun way to explore on a budget and you will always get a locker to keep your valuables safe if that is something you are concerned about. The only downside of the shared dorm style ones are the fact you have one bathroom which can be an issue if you are waiting for ages for someone to shower and you're running on a tight schedule.

I use Hostel World to book all my hostels and do all my research and ended up going with Hostel Van Gogh  which was cheap and cheerful (at  €25 a night you can't go wrong) and gave us everything we needed. The central location was perfect and stopped us having to fork out for tram travel as we were able to walk everywhere we needed and we were right by the Museumplein too.

Hotel wise you expect a bit more than a hostel, I loved my hotel and was lucky enough to not have to worry about prices as this was a family holiday meaning my parents kindly paid for it. We stayed in the Ibis Styles Amsterdam City hotel which was on the more affordable side of the hotels within the city but was more homely than a hostel for sure, I think this came to about €120 a night.

Personally I don't see much difference between the two, though if you're on a budget for sure give Hostel World a search!





FOOD AND DRINK 
(all places offer vegetarian options and are centrally based)

Asian food is my weakness and you can find some of the best Ramen over at Ramen-Ya Amsterdam which is a place that I often find myself on a Saturday night with friends. They have some lovely vegetarian options which is easily why it is one of my favourite places to go and grab dinner. Located a five minute walk from Dam Square it is right in the hub of the city and is always super busy, I tend to get there at about 5pm to ensure a space or you can alw
ays make a reservation too!

If you're from England and like me are Wagamama obsessed then you will be happy to know that there are a few of the restaurants in the city too, I tend to go to the one based near Leidseplein as it is along my tram route and I have converted several of my Dutch friends into Wagamama fans.

If Asian food isn't really your thing or you're looking for a Brunch/Lunch spot then I recommend Blue Amsterdam which is one of the prettiest restaurants that I have ever come across. The whole place is built of glass and you are given the most spectacular view of the city as you sit and eat your lunch. Again, the menu features a lot of vegetarian options and this place even goes as far as offering vegan options too!

One of the biggest parts of Dutch food are pancakes and waffles, so I suggest you head out and find yourself a pancake restaurant (there are so many across the city) or grab yourself a waffle.







MUSEUMS 

If you're into art and culture then the museums will for sure be a go to place for you at some point in your trip, have a look into the ones that appeal to you and perhaps only do one or two considering you will end up spending all weekend in museums and not exploring the rest of the city!

The Van Gogh Museum is the place that I immediately tell everyone to go to, purely because Vincent is my all time favourite artist and this place fully encapsulates his experience and journey as a creative in such a beautiful manner. My little trick is if you can pass as an under 18 book your tickets online and claim to be a child, nobody checks you and it's a free museum trip instead of spending on it instead.

For photography there is the FOAM museum which isn't in the Museumplein area but is simple enough to get to with the help of Google Maps, this is always really exciting to go to (though this could just be very biased considering I'm a photography student). It also tends to be quieter than the busy Van Gogh and Rijksmuseum which are constantly packed with their tourist target audience.

If it isn't fully booked then the Anne Frank house is a must see, it makes you value everything you have and gives you such a harsh reminder of the reality of the way the world was not even 100 years ago. This is one of the mot beautiful places and is so worth taking time out of your day to see, I was brought to tears when exploring it.

There's also the sex museum which is always a laugh, take a photo with a massive penis sculpture and learn all about sex. You have to be over sixteen to visit the museum and it costs about €4 to enter which is super cheap in comparison to the prices of some other museums.





OTHER ACTIVITIES 


Rent a bike and pack a picnic, take a cycle through Vondelpark and enjoy the sunny summer weather. There's something so lovely about cycling round this park and you will always see tourists and locals alike cycling round on sunny days.

Canal Cruises are the best way to see the parts of the city that would perhaps of otherwise gone amiss in your visit. There are so many different ones so doing some research in what you want from your cruise would be a good idea; some come with meals and drinks; others are just simply cruises around the city; some take ages and some are much shorter. They're lovely on sunny days but can be equally fun in the rain too.

Thrifting and Flea Markets are always fun to walk around, you can find some complete gems for unbelievably affordable prices. I picked up a winter coat that I always get complemented on for €5 at the Waterlooplein market. I also love the various Episode vintage stores that are scattered around the city as well as Bij Ons Vintage!

The infamous I Amsterdam sign is located in the Museumplein area and is always surrounded by hundreds of tourists trying to get photos at it. This is super fun to go have a look at, and tends to be much quieter and easier to get photos at late at night or in early morning.